How to Make Your Marriage New

The Passion of The Christ, Mel Gibson's meditation on the last hours of Christ's life, as one's man reflection on our Lord's passion, has its good and its bad points. One of its most moving scenes is, however, a real masterpiece: the encounter of the Blessed Virgin Mary with her Son while He carries the Cross. In the film, St. John organises the encounter of mother and son as Jesus makes the first ever Way of the Cross. Our Blessed Lady at first hesitates, but then recalling a time in a flashback to our Lord's childhood when He stumbles and she runs to catch Him, she is motivated with great love to meet Him. Our Lord, in agony and pain, looks into her loving gaze as she embraces Him, and as the music builds to a crescendo, says to her "Behold, I make all things new." I suspect there would have been relatively few dry eyes in the cinema at that moment.

In a real way our Lord hinted at this "newness" that He would instigate when He gave wine for the guests to drink at another more joyous moment, the wedding feast at Cana. There we discover another encounter between mother and son. The wine for the feast ran out.

Jewish wedding feasts usually began on Wednesdays with the celebration lasting for seven days.  During this period, guests arrived each day, bringing gifts and participating in the joy of the occasion. In the course of the celebration "the wine ran short." To run short of wine could be particularly damaging to the reputation of the host and be seen as an ill omen for the newly married couple. For all concerned, acute embarrassment loomed large. It is Our Lady who notices the ominous situation and turns to her son making the only request recorded of her in the Gospel: "They have no wine." And then she finishes her request with the instruction to the servants: "Do whatever He tells you."

In doing this Our Blessed Mother appears to ignore our Lord's seemingly sharp rebuke: "Woman, how does your concern affect me?" Our Lord's use of the word "woman" would be equivalent to our "ma'am" or "lady" and is not as harsh as it first seems. Indeed, our Lord will use it later when on the Cross He entrusts His mother to St. John and to us: "Woman, behold your Son." But though our Lord asks this question, He nevertheless performs the miracle — the first of the "signs" of St. John's Gospel.

The Fathers of the Church noted that the "new wine" made by Jesus signifies the "new rich wine" of the Gospel and it points to the "wine of the new covenant,"  His blood, which our Lord provides for His disciples in the Lord's Supper or Eucharist. But the Fathers also saw in the superiority of this wine that our Lord's teaching, the wisdom which He offered as the God-man, was far superior to any other. It also points to the messianic banquet, which Jesus will provide at the end of the age when He comes again in glory, itself depicted as a wedding banquet.

 We must remember that the Bible begins with a wedding, that of Adam and Eve in the Garden, and ends with one, that of the Wedding Feast of the Lamb depicted in the Book of Revelation. The wedding, and spousal fidelity, are presented throughout the Scriptures as a powerful metaphor for the faithful love of God. "For the LORD delights in you and makes your land His spouse" (Is 62:1-5). "Behold I make all things new" (Rv 21:5).

Christian marriage can be a bit like Cana at times. Yes, for the first years, the wine is good, the company abundant, the friends and partying wonderful. But as time passes, sometimes the celebration can slow, and with the addition of family and financial pressures, perhaps, just perhaps, the wine can seem to run out.

The answer?

"Behold I make all things new."

The Lord offers to all couples, most powerfully through the sacraments, and through children, a new wine. "Everyone serves good wine first, and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one; but you have kept the good wine until now." So said the steward, when he tasted the water that our Lord had changed into wine.

What is the secret to tasting this new wine, not only for married Christians, but for all of us? Invite Jesus and Mary. It was the presence of Our Lady and our Lord at that wedding that, when things started to go a little awry, provided the only viable solution.

These days too many do not live the truth of Christian marriage, open to the teaching of the Lord, open to children, and the teachings of the Church. They don't accept the new wine that our Lord is offering, particularly through the gift of children, because the festivities surrounding their wedding — their "lifestyle," not the marriage itself — have become the focus of their energies. The wine runs out, and they realize it, but too late.

Through Our Lady's request Jesus offers a new wine to all of us, but particularly to married couples. Will you take it?

You see the wine provided by our Lord, was then, as now, new wine, the best wine, kept until last, only for those who have gone the distance.

When I used to marry couples I would begin my homily by turning to the couple and saying "Ah, young love! Can anything beat it?" Then I would say, "Now contemplate this scene: an old man and an old woman, faces a little aged, but still radiant; hands wrinkled — but still clasped. Yes, you bet," I would say, "Old love beats young love every time."

Let us pray too that many more Catholic parents may discover this new wine which will allow their love to grow into the best of loves, old love, with their many children, and their children's children surrounding them.

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