Last week we celebrated St. Patrick’s Day and I let loose a little. I ate food I don’t normally eat, indulged in a little more corned-beef, cabbage, sugar coated bread, desserts, snacks… you name it.
I think my indulgence was probably a little tame compared to how some others chose to “indulge”. Certainly St. Patrick isn’t fond of his feast day being turned into a an excuse for succumbing to weaknesses to sex and alcohol, among other things. I think that too many times if we look for occasions when we can indulge ourselves, we are going to find them. We won’t just find it on St. Patrick’s Day. We can find it on St. Joseph’s Day, the Feast of St. Stephen… the list goes on. Let’s ignore the fact that our society uses Lent as an excuse to party, Easter as an excuse for spring break, and so on.
Look at yourself in the mirror. It is difficult for me to do sometimes. Because when I look at myself in the mirror I see the reasons why I do things that I do. I know that I want to be a better husband. I know that I want to be a better father. I know that I want to be a healthier person. I know that I want to be more productive in my job. I know that I want to be more financially responsible. I know that I want to be holy.
Then why do I continue to do things that go against those goals?
Probably for my own justifications for my own sins. On some level I don’t really believe that those small indiscretions are really taking me away from the goal in the long term.
I can spend time cruising the Internet for the next big article rather than spending time with my wife.
I can spend time watching my favorite TV shows rather than spending time with my daughters.
I can eat sugar and junk food rather than eating real food that God has given us.
I can spend time doing things at work that contribute nothing to my job rather than seeking holiness for my students.
I can spend money on something that is going to be worthless in 24 hours rather than show some discretion and patience.
I can commit this little sin rather than seek holiness in all that I do.
Forget the fact that it is St. Patrick’s Mardi Gras New Year’s Break Parade. It is quite simply time to stop rationalizing and to accept the fact that each time I chose any of the options above, I am making the point that I do not really want to be the best husband, father, productive, healthy, fiscally responsible, and, in the end, holy.
That sentence is hard to read. It was difficult to write because it is true. I have settled for mediocrity in my life in all of those areas and I no longer want to do so. I no longer want to be simply “better than most” according to my own judgmental attitude toward the world. I need to recognize that I have farther to go than anyone and I need to be better now.
This can only happen with Grace. It can only occur by continuing to surrender myself to God and His will rather than trying to force my own will onto the world around me.
Excuses or no excuses, if we are going to look into the mirror and see ourselves the way that Christ sees us, we need to make an honest examination of who we are and where we are going in life.
The person Christ wants you to be is waiting for you.
