You Are a Silent Witness
Mentally you swat at such remarks, but always manage to get stung. What’s a young mother to do? Here are some suggestions:
First of all, remember you are a silent witness. Mothers don’t realize the brightness of our halos because we have become accustomed to them, but a light in the darkness can have a huge effect.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I lived in an apartment complex. One day the girl next door greeted me in the hallway and introduced herself. She invited me over for tea, and we had a good time getting to know each other. She was entering the FBI and had a brilliant career before her. I was staying at home married to a man in law school at night, at work during the day. I didn’t have much to offer her in the way of excitement.
One day near Christmas, we heard wild rejoicing through the thin walls of the apartment building. Dying of curiosity, we went next door and knocked. The door was thrown open, and we were greeted with wild hugs and a glass of champagne. My friend was grinning as she held up her glass and said, “Sparkling apple cider!” We could not imagine the cause of such unrestrained joy from these ordinarily cool people.
“We are expecting!” they shouted and then proceeded to cry and laugh at the same time. My husband and I stood there with our jaws on the floor. What were they doing pregnant, and furthermore, what were they doing PREGNANT and HAPPY?!
After more champagne and apple cider, they told us their story, positively brimming with joy. Our neighbors had seen us in our humble poverty and noticed how happy we were. They longed for that happiness. They realized that the key to this happiness was to give up their selfish ways and have a baby. God blessed this young couple quickly with a baby, and they were on their way! My young acquaintance abandoned her would-be career with the FBI and over time became the mother of many children. In fact, she is still a dear friend of mine.
Happy with Full Hands
At the grocery store I am always greeted with comments like, “How many more are you going to have?” I answer with a smile, “As many as I can handle.” When I am obviously frazzled, the comments go more like this: “Boy, you sure have your hands full.” Just a smile makes all the difference even when I answer, “Yes, I do.” It is OK to have your hands full. What is important to people is the smile. You are happy with full hands!
One day I was waiting in a dentist’s office with my five children. A man, who was also waiting, asked me what right I had using up all the earth’s resources. I calmly told him I was having children so that there would be someone who could discover more efficient uses of these resources and save lives. Because we were both stuck in the waiting room, we had a wonderful discussion. At one point, he even looked at them playing nicely (sometimes God is so generous in His mercy!) and said, “I think you are right, these beautiful children might make a positive difference in this world.”
It doesn’t always go like this. I have had my share of openly hostile and bitter comments. They are usually from women. When attacked in this way, it is best to smile and walk away. I personally think these women are suffering from some wound such that merely seeing a lovely child breaks their heart. Say a prayer for these people and try to be compassionate. To be that bitter cannot be an easy way to live.
Sometimes we need to realize that our faith will suffocate without the support of friends. We are social creatures by nature and rely on the cooperation and support of a community. If you find your faith in jeopardy, perhaps you had better do something about it. Make plans to move. The discomfort and awkwardness of a new job, a new town and even the move itself means nothing if your faith is at stake! Moreover, at a certain point children do need support in their convictions. It is a rare child that can sustain his faith in the face of his friends’ mockery. A move might especially become necessary when the children are older and need more social outlets.
Keep in Mind the Finish Line
I know an amazing woman who is the mother of 18 children. I first met her at a grand Christmas party. She was seated in a plush red chair, which looked like a throne in the soft light of the night. Her husband stood behind her, straight as an arrow, proud as a king. Around her were her children and her grandchildren. I saw glory in that woman—no vanity, no selfishness, just sacrificial glory. I recognized her as my icon, a model of what I wanted to become. Later, as we grew to be friends, I discovered the worn fabric of her chair as well as her own personal struggles for perfection. That has only made my goal clearer. She struggles, as I must also. Our friendship and all that she represents has been a picture, which I keep in the innermost pocket of my heart. No matter where I am, I can pull out her picture, gaze upon her warm heart and once again put my head down to the chore at hand — the straight and narrow path to Heaven.
In all that you do, fortify your mind with God’s strength and let the love of the Holy Spirit shine from your lips. Guard your faith like a precious jewel. And when those little angels don’t seem so angelic, remember to smile and thank God. These little crosses are a mother’s ticket to Heaven.
© Copyright 2002 Catholic Exchange
Christy Wall is a homeschooling mother of six. She earned a B.A. at Thomas Aquinas College and later a Paralegal degree.
