Forgiveness and Peace


Mrs. O'Leary, party to two UN Conferences (on Population and Development and on Women) is the author of The Gender Agenda. She can be reached at heartbeatnews@compuserve.com.

(This article is reprinted with permission from Canticle Magazine, the Voice of Today's Catholic Woman.)


Everyone who presents the pro-life message or gives a pro-life sermon or even mentions abortion in conversation must assume that he may be speaking to someone who has been involved in an abortion.

Given this reality, we need to make it clear that:

1) Abortion is not an unforgivable sin; God loves the women and men who have been involved in abortion and stand willing to forgiven, even for multiple abortions.

2) The pain can be healed.

3) Those who know the reality of abortion have a special duty to be actively pro-life.

Some may ask, what about the baby? Shouldn't the pro-life movement focus on the babies? In my opinion, the best way to show the world the reality of the baby is through the eyes of the mothers, and fathers, and grandparents who know the pain of loss. Their tears will change hearts.

We must always offer hope. Sometimes the pro-life emphasis on the emotional consequences of abortion can leave the impression that the pain is permanent. It doesn't have to be. Real freedom is possible, but healing can be difficult because the process must include more than just the abortion itself. A woman who chooses abortion is in trouble before she gets pregnant. She has made a series of bad decisions which led her into a sexual relationship where the conception of a child was perceived as a disaster. She needs to understand why.

Why was she seducible? Why was she looking for love in all the wrong places? Why was she more afraid of what people would think of her than of what she would think of herself or what God would think? Why did she feel she had “no choice” but abortion? Why did she believe she couldn't cope?

These problems started in childhood. There were patterns of negative behavior that were established before she became involved in sexual risk-taking, and long before she became pregnant and ended up at the abortion clinic door. In order to be healed she needs to see the whole picture.

A woman chooses abortion because she feels she has nowhere else to turn. She is almost always the victim of multiple betrayals. She will need to forgive all those who betrayed her so that she can accept God's forgiveness for giving in to her fears.

Many women who have made “the choice” feel guilty about standing up against abortion. They know what “the choice” cost them, but they assume that they are the only ones who have suffered. They need to know that their experience is not the exception but the rule and they have a right, indeed a duty, to warn other women about the terrible consequences.

Some women may, in spite of the emotional pain, feel they can't be pro-life because they benefited from the abortion. They may believe that their lives would have been ruined if they had

had their baby. They can be shown that the legalization of abortion caused them to take risks, caused men to take risks, and ultimately led to their pregnancy.

When abortion is illegal, people are more careful. Men are rightly afraid that they will have to pay 18 years of child support, and with DNA testing no one is going to get out of it by saying the baby isn't his. Making abortion illegal again will decrease high risk behavior.

John Paul II in his encyclical The Gospel of Life addressed women who have had abortions as follows:

“The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You will come to understand that nothing is definitively lost and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child who is now living with the Lord. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life.”

Pro-life men and women of all faiths need to stand together, with our arms and hearts open to those who bear this pain. They need to see that we love them, we welcome them, we really care about them. We cannot bring the babies to testify to the horror of abortion, but we can bring the other victims — the families of the babies. What is needed today is for the ranks of the pro-life movement to be swelled with those who have seen the dark side of abortion first hand. Then the pro-life message will wash over the country like a healing balm.

By

Subscribe to CE
(It's free)

Go to Catholic Exchange homepage

MENU