As a busy mom, I have limited time to spend doing “elective” reading. The time I do have is directed towards books that will provide support, enlightenment, entertainment, and encouragement. With her first published book, Catholic author Danielle Bean has pulled all these elements together in My Cup of Tea: Musings of a Catholic Mom (Pauline, January 2005, paperback). I have long admired the wonderful writing of Danielle Bean, so it is a treat to own a collection of Danielle's inspirational essays. Her warm tone and the attention she gives to the small blessings in the life of every mother remind me to thank God for my own role as mother.
Danielle writes about the everyday occurrences in the life of a Catholic mom with a voice that will sound familiar to you — it's your voice, my voice, the voice of my mom, the voice of all of us who are working diligently to love and raise our children to be wonderful individuals who know and love their faith. Somehow she manages to find words for the many situations that occur along life's path — the crazy ones, the sweet ones, the ones that make us cry and the ones that make us laugh out loud.
Danielle Bean shared the following on her vocation as a Catholic parent, the challenge of writing and publishing her first book, and keeping life’s trials in perspective.
Q: Danielle Bean, Catholic Mom and author of My Cup of Tea: Musings of a Catholic Mom , congratulations on the publication of your book! Could you please tell us a bit about yourself and your family?
A: Thank you! I am a cradle Catholic. I have 8 brothers and sisters and one of the most precious gifts my parents gave each of us was an unshakably strong Catholic faith. My husband and I have been married 11 years and we have seven children ranging in age from 2 months to 10 years. We live a country-style life in New Hampshire, complete with chickens, pigs, and 10 acres of land for the kids to explore.
Q: Danielle, I've admired your writing for quite some time in National Catholic Register and Faith & Family Magazine. How did you begin your writing career and how has it developed?
A: I have always enjoyed writing and had it in the back of my mind that I would like to write professionally one day. I didn't start my writing career until about 3 years ago, though. I was pregnant with our fifth child one summer when my husband took on a part time job that kept him away most evenings. I suddenly found myself alone for two or three hours at a stretch — wide awake and bored — and I decided to put that time to good use.
I wrote up a few different family-themed essays and sent them out. They were well-received for the most part and eventually they led to more writing assignments — many of them through Circle Media that publishes both the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family. In fact, a number of the chapters in my book originally ran in the Register.
Q: What motivates you to write about life as a mother, and what message do you hope to share with your readers?
A: Motherhood has been God's greatest gift to me as well as His greatest challenge. I really think that the more we share our daily struggles as mothers the more we stand to gain from one another. As a young mom I spent way too much time trying to be perfect and beating myself up over things that don't really matter in the long run. The main message I hope I convey to readers is that there is great joy to be found in simply embracing who you are and saying “yes” to God's will — which is different for everyone — day by day, even minute by minute. I hear from a lot of mothers who say they were just waiting for someone to tell them to let go of the perfectionism. By admitting my own flaws and failures, I hope to encourage people to do just that.
Q: How does a homeschooling mom of six find time for anything, let alone something which requires thought and concentration like writing?
A: I think most people have more time than they think. Here's the thing: If there is something you've been longing to do, you've got to stop waiting around for great lengths of time in which to do it. It'll never happen that way. Most of us will never get more than half an hour of peace or uninterrupted time to think at a stretch. I find that writing is adaptable to my lifestyle in that I can get an idea of something I want to write about and then just kind of let it “marinate” in my brain for a few days. I'll think it over while I'm doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, or whatever else needs doing. I sometimes jot down notes or phrases in a notebook when something strikes me. Then in the evening when I get a little bit of quiet time, I can spend some more involved time writing something I've already thought over quite a bit. Oh, and I don't watch much TV. TV is a huge time-waster.
Q: How did the idea for My Cup of Tea come together and how did you accomplish having your first book published?
A: Since I was writing a regular column, a collection of my work just kind of came together on its own. I sent a few samples out to different publishers and Pauline decided they would like it to include my book in their newly-started series of parenting books. They assigned me some additional subjects to cover and I worked with an editor to organize it to everyone's liking. It all came together pretty easily, actually, and I was happy with the results.
Q: How do your children feel about your writing? Do they offer suggestions, ideas, or critiques?
A: At first my kids were thrilled and amazed. They liked seeing my name and their names in print. My oldest, Kateri, especially loved having me write about her chickens. When I first received a copy of My Cup of Tea, Dan read the children several chapters over the dinner table. It was my first public “reading” and it was pretty well-received. Then Kateri brought the book to her bedroom and read the rest of it in one night. She announced her approval the next morning. As they get older and more aware of things, though, some of my kids might not like their lives to be so public and I'll have to respect their wishes in that regard.
Q: I'm sure that your husband has been a wonderfully supportive partner in your creative efforts — can you say a few words about how he has been of support and encouragement to you?
A: Dan really is a wonderful father and husband. People often ask me how I “do it all,” and I always tell them there is no way I could live the life I do without my husband's support. I don't do any of this alone. Dan is very encouraging of me with regard to my writing and makes himself available as a proof-reader or critic whenever I need one. I can trust him to really speak his mind and not worry too much about my tender feelings. A tough critic is really a writer's best friend. In the past he's said things to me like, “You've got to change this — it sounds stupid,” and he has always been right. The most important role he plays, though, is as an active father to our children.
Q: What would you say to mothers who feel overwhelmed or discouraged by their vocation to motherhood and the many demands it places upon a woman?
A: I have a special place in my heart for overwhelmed mommies because I have been there myself and still struggle on occasion. But I think I struggle less now than when I was younger and so eager to be perfect and in control all the time. Being a mother is the most wonderful blessing in the world, but it can be a burden too, in the day-to-day demands it places upon a woman. I try to emphasize to mothers in general and to young mothers in particular the idea that everyone struggles. It's okay to say it's hard. It's okay to have a bad day. It's okay to sometimes feel like you want to buy a one-way ticket to “anywhere but here.” We all do that sometimes. In fact, I don't know how anyone survives parenthood without faith. The key is to keep yourself focused on what's truly important and let the rest of the stuff fall into proper perspective. God helps us do that.
Q: What roles do faith and prayer play in your writing and in your family life?
A: I have what I call a “Mother's Prayer Life.” This means that I really really count on my morning offering being very effective. I like to start my day by giving it over to God and that way everything I do — from changing a diaper to washing the lunch dishes is done for the glory of God and offered to Him, even if I forget to say so. I incorporate more formal prayer in my daily schedule with the kids but a family-style rosary isn't always a great opportunity for meditation. I think I gain the most from just doing my best to keep God at the center of my life and re-focusing my thoughts and energies on Him when I get sidetracked or discouraged.
My faith is such an integral part of who I am that I never really have to give conscious thought to incorporating it in my writing. My writing is about me and about my life, so my faith just naturally is reflected in my work. I can't hide it.
Q: Danielle Bean, thank you again for My Cup of Tea: Musings of a Catholic Mom, which is indeed a gift to Catholic parents! Are there any last thoughts or ideas you'd like to share with our readers?
A: I would just encourage all the Catholic moms out there to give up trying to be something other than they are, to stop comparing themselves to others, and to just embrace their vocations as mothers — there is so much peace and joy to be found in doing exactly that. Take heart in knowing that you aren't alone in this struggle and that your efforts will be richly rewarded. Oh, and of course I would love it if they would visit my website daniellebean.com Thanks so much for this opportunity, Lisa!
See also:
For more information, go to My Cup of Tea: Musings of a Catholic Mom or the Catholic Company.
(Lisa M. Hendey is a mother of two sons, webmaster of numerous web sites, including www.catholicmom.com and www.christiancoloring.com, and an avid reader of Catholic literature. Visit her at www.lisahendey.com for more information.)
