I've got to tell my dogs to stop giving out our mailing address on the Internet. The junk mail is piling up. In today's mail alone there were two pet supply catalogs, an invitation to a Puppy Tea at the Tasty Treats Shoppe, and a seminar sponsored by Novartis Pharmaceutical: Ticks, Fleas and Fido — Can't We Live in Peace?
My friend Mac thinks I'm making up this doggie stuff. Okay, actually, she said, "Are you nuts??" Wait until I show her the flier stuffed into my parent's mailbox post in their South Florida Over 55 Active Lifestyle Community.
Join us for the Grand Opening of Palm Tree Terrace's Doggie Mall! Featuring our anchor store, Canine Creations: Jewels for your Jewel! Show Fluffy you care with a genuine 18 karat gold I.D. tag. Show the "ladies who lunch" you love your Fifi more than their Fido with Fifi's own custom-sized, diamond and emerald studded harness. Matching tiara and leash also available!
Buckle your Beagle into his car seat and visit our other stores celebrating their Grand Openings with complimentary wine, organic treats, and prizes! Human treats available for purchase.
Taffy's Tutoring Center: Sample courses include, but are not limited too: "Living within your means: Learn to love the electric fence"; "Cats are Stupid"; "Licking 101"; "Begging 101"; "Advanced Begging"; "Beginner Tricks (hand shaking, sit, stay)"; "Intermediate Tricks (alternate hand shaking, roll over, play dead)"; "Advanced Tricks (dealing a winning poker hand, jumping fences, turning off lights)."
Doggie Dental: We offer convenient evening and weekend hours plus standard services discerning doggies desire: Invisalign braces; Annual Cleanings; Veneers, Crowns, Bridges and Laser Whitening!
Doggie Day Care: Hourly, Short and extended stay available. Drop-ins welcome but reservations recommended.
Doggie Derm: Specializing in Botox, Restalyne, and state of the art laser removal of warts, fatty bumps, moles and cat scratch scars.
Beggar's Bakery & Bistro: Get your Beggar's Dozen Frequent Beggar card. Buy 12 bags of our exclusive organic, gluten free canine crackers and the next bag is free!
Wine Tastings feature canine wine from Bark Vineyards, including, Barkdundy, Pinot Leasheo and Sauvignon Bark. Private parties available.
Center for Canine Wholeness: All breeds welcome! Discounted annual memberships available to take advantage of our Meditation room; Chapel with Daily services in English and Spanish; Doggie yoga studio; deluxe locker facilities and library-with newly updated, extensive music and book on CD collection, including all time favorites, Barking With The Oldies, Lassie's Top Ten Rescues, Scooby's Dieting Secrets and How Much is That Doggie in the Window?
Fido's Furniture Gallery: We carry a wide array of posh yet therapeutic furniture for your favorite pooch, including an extensive selection of fabric choices for the highly popular (Uma Thurman's dog slept here) London Flat Bed. A bargain at $600! Grab your Swarovski studded leashes and browse our 10,000-square-foot showroom of beds, sofas, futons, hammocks, recliners, billiards tables, and of course, Poker tables!
