My husband and I did not discover natural family planning and the Couple to Couple League until after our vasectomy reversal. Our story is a little unusual.
My husband had a vasectomy when I was eight months pregnant with our third child, largely due to pressure we received from our families. However, shortly after the vasectomy I began to feel like we had done something wrong. My husband was a little reluctant to admit he felt that way, too, but he also regretted the decision. However, he tried to console me that we had three beautiful children and that everyone was probably right, that we just couldn’t provide for more than three. Looking back on it now, I just can’t believe we were so hasty to make that decision (while I was pregnant, no less!).
The regret soon turned to sorrow, then anguish, as I wished so badly we had been more prayerful about a decision so permanent. I then began to pray and seek the Lord over what I considered to be a terrible mistake. It wasn’t long before my husband came to the same conclusion.
We discussed adoption, but my husband just wasn’t open to that avenue. Then miraculous doors began to open. I met a friend who knew someone who was considering having a vasectomy reversal. I got in touch with this person and found out about the doctor they were using and contacted him. This couple really encouraged us to have faith over our decision about a reversal, as well as about the money to pay for it. This Christian doctor we found (who was out of state) was willing to work with us and help us schedule just the right time. We needed time to save money.
Despite our convictions, we both still had our times of weakness. One time we were close to having all the money saved and then I heard about a less expensive surgeon. Gently our friend reminded us how the Lord had led us to the one particular doctor. Another time my husband wanted a new computer and the price was exactly the price of the reversal. Yet we heard the Lord’s reminders and did not use our money for the computer.
Finally, there was the time I went to the grocery store with $30, trying to buy enough to last us those last few days before the next pay day. I was so discouraged I said to myself, “Why are we planning a reversal? Are we crazy?!” Yet when I was leaving I found a dirty kitchen plaque with tire marks on it lying on the ground next to my van. It was inscribed, “Children are a heritage from the Lord.” I was so excited I flew home to tell my husband! That day turned joyous, but never so joyous as the day our little Jared Andrew was born, 14 months after our reversal. (By the way, we also had a new computer paid for by the time this fourth baby was conceived! We believe the Lord gave us a computer when we trusted Him that He could provide for us.)
I encourage any couple who regrets a sterilization to follow their hearts and look into a reversal. Ours has brought us many blessings, the most important being our son!
(Read the touching, personal stories of 20 couples who chose sterilization as a solution for family difficulties and then were given the grace to choose healing in a radical way in Sterilization Reversal: A Generous Act of Love, edited by John L. Long.)
