Paul tells us that of all the virtues the greatest is Charity (1 Cor 13). Unfortunately this word rings hollowly in English ears because its modern meaning is more akin to cold, unfeeling humanitarianism.
A closer modern English rendering might be “love,” but again unfortunately this word has too vague a meaning in present-day English, a language lacking the rich “love” vocabulary of the New Testament Greek, which has several words for “love”: eros (sexual love), storge, pronounced “storgay” (familial love), philia (love between friends), philanthropia (humanitarianism), and agape, pronounced “agapay.”
This last word, agape, is a love based on a reasoning attachment to another, constituted by a deliberate choice of, and respect and reverence for, that other — God or one’s neighbor. St. Jerome, the translator of the Latin Vulgate, tried to capture this rich meaning in the Latin word, caritas. When the Vulgate first appeared in its English translation, “caritas” was simply transliterated into “charity,” a fact which explains the modern confusion.
But to return to St Paul. He without a doubt emphasizes the priority of charity in Christian living. If we take him to mean the “agape” of the original Greek according to St. Jerome’s interpretation, could this understanding of “agape” guide me in trying to decide how I should help my neighbor in some concrete instance? Hardly. It is no good asking myself whether I am aware of a “reasoning attachment to him, characterized by reverence or respect.” Even if I were indeed conscious of these elements in my relationship, I would still have to decide my behavior on other grounds. My loving relationship could not tell me how to relate in any specific instance. “Love” (agape, caritas) is far too general a concept for that. Nor could I inspect the behavior I am contemplating and tell myself it is loving or otherwise. Behaviors do not come with handy labels attached, telling the agent they are good or bad. Suddenly tackling my neighbor to the ground might be an aggressive assault or it might be the most effective way to rescue him from being conked by a flying object.
What I am getting at is that we do not learn what love is simply by being given a highly abstract definition, and then trying to apply that definition. Instead we witness particular instances of people relating to one another, examples of love. So the young child learns that the love of his parents is being shown by the multitudinous ways they care for him while he grows up. He is learning what love is — a lesson better caught than taught. A couple contemplating marriage learn what their love is as the many facets of their relationship are explored in courtship.
Thus the meaning of “love” is grasped and deepened in particular relationships. While “love” is a general term, it is expressed by a host of behaviors that can only be described as “loving” on very specific and particular grounds.
The command to “love one another” would be impossible to fulfill if all we had from God was an abstract definition of love, useless to guide our actions. Instead, God provides us with a series of examples — in our families, in the lives of the saints, in the lives of every friend and stranger who touches us with kindness, compassion, generosity and hospitality. But He goes further.
To the imperfect examples of love we have in our friends and family God has added a perfect exemplar in the person of Jesus Christ. Through His incarnation, life, death and resurrection, Christ provides us with the example par excellence of how to lead a life of love. “Greater love than this no man has, that he should lay down his life for his friends” (Jn 15:15). This, then is caritas, agape — no cold and academic definition, but warm as lifeblood spilling from a wound. If we ask “How should I relate to God and my neighbor?” the answer is: “Be Christ-like!” To appreciate the fullness of love, love in the splendor of all its perfection, we have to see another acting always in a loving relationship. Jesus Christ is that unique other — both the manifestation of God’s love and the model of how to love God and neighbor.
John Melia was raised in Liverpool, England. He spent 9 years in junior
and senior seminary before discerning his vocation to the married life. He spent his career teaching in the UK. He has three children and one grandchild.
