Can I Run Away Now?

Can I run away now? Anyone wanna join me? I know Kelly will — she's been awake since 1:30a.m. cleaning up what any veteran CSI cop would deem an obvious murder scene. This would be a veteran CSI cop who never had a 12 year old son eat junk food, play sports, go skiing, then crawl into bed exhausted. Not too exhausted to finish the last slice of Red Velvet Cake, mind you, but far too exhausted to hit the bathroom before the weekend of birthday fun resurfaced. All over the walls, carpet and lampshades.

While offering Kelly my supersonic strength carpet cleaner and gin, I spotted my window installers smoking outside in the freezing cold. I wanted to scream, "Don't leave those butts in my grass! Don't smoke near the hole in my wall that used to be a window — you're stinking up my house! Did you just call me emotional? I heard that!

And just how long is that hole going to be there?  The dogs think it's really fun to jump out of it which would be fine if they ran away and never came back because after paying for these windows and with looming college costs I can barely afford their heartworm medicine. Plus they're jumping out the window over the holly bushes and since I borrowed the last of their sedatives, I have to figure out how I'm going to pin them down for the next hour and pull holly thorns out of their tummies.

But first I have to go back on Eternal Hold with AAA to schedule my son's car for towing, the same one that just received a new engine last week but died again this morning. The nice recorded lady on 1-800-Eternal Hold told me to try AAA.com for faster service. After typing 80 lines of detailed information, it said my 30 minute session expired and gee golly, Gold Member, would you mind re-entering all your security information and 80 lines of auto info again but do it a little faster this time because our version of 30 minutes is about 22 minutes shorter than yours?

PMS levels are at an all time high in this house and whoever ate the last Reduced Fat Oreo better not fess up or they'll be living on the street … currently blocked by the window guys' truck and I'm late for my appointment with my foot surgeon, who's NOT going to be happy when he sees I've neglected my toe exercises for the last two months; plus every time my thorn-bellied dog decides to stop in front of me like a cement road barrier, I trip over him with the bad foot.

I wonder if there's some sort of resort in Arizona whose spa menu includes toe flexations that are conveniently covered under my insurance plan? I didn't think so. But can I still run away now?

Subscribe to CE
(It's free)

Go to Catholic Exchange homepage

MENU