Is it possible to bridge the deep chasm that separates pro-abortion forces and pro-life people? Is there any way that these two sides, at war with each other for over 30 years since Roe V. Wade was handed down, can ever agree upon anything? Can they ever see eye-to-eye or compromise when they hold their beliefs so dearly, defend them with such passion?
At first glance, it does seem unlikely, if not impossible. It appears as if both sides are talking about two separate issues, so there is no common ground in this fiercely fought debate.
On one side you have the pro-abortion movement, which is only concerned with “women’s rights.” Radical feminists tout the right of a woman to control her own fertility, the right of a woman to control her own body. They speak about women’s oppression and of past ills where women were seen as “possessions” or “property.” They feel that this must be changed and the way to do it is for women to be free — free to make their own decisions, their own choices — unencumbered by “the patriarchy.” This side only sees the “woman.” Their rhetoric is appealing to many. They scream, yell, rant and rave all in the name of the “woman.”
On the other side you have the pro-life movement. These people, mainly religious, recognize the sanctity of every human life. They believe in the right to life of every human being from the moment of conception. They recognize the humanity of the unborn child. They protest, march, agitate, and champion the baby in the womb. They can not understand how a woman can have her baby aborted once she knows she is, in fact, carrying a real human being in her womb. In many cases they are so tightly focused on the baby that they are not looking at the woman. This is especially true when screaming, yelling, ranting and raving go on in the name of the “unborn baby.”
How can we possibly ever bring these two sides together? What is it that can bridge this huge divide that separates these two opposing positions? Is it possible that either side would actually listen to the other side? Is there any middle ground where these two sides can meet? Is there anything or anyone that can heal this division? Yes, there is someone who can speak to those who are pro-abortion and also to pro-life people. That “someone” is the woman who has had an abortion. The post-abortive woman is in a unique position to speak to both the pro-abortion movement and the pro-life movement. The post-abortive woman can not only speak to both sides, but more importantly, both sides will listen to what she has to say.
Having had an abortion — maybe even several — she knows the pain, grief and suffering that attend abortion. She knows that abortion is not good for women. When she stands up and tells people, even people who believe that abortion is a woman’s right, that what she went through was tragic and hurtful, they will listen. When she says, “My abortion did not help me, it did not free me, or make me more in control of my life like I hoped it would; it hurt me,” they will listen. The post-abortive woman can talk about how she thought having an abortion was the answer to her problems and it would enable her to go on with her life, but the reality is that the opposite was true. She found that she was plagued with depression, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, anxiety or alcohol and drug abuse. And they will listen.
A post-abortive woman is crucial to the pro-life movement because when she stands up and tells her story, when she relates the circumstances forcing her to make the choice to have her baby aborted, pro-life people should listen. Experience is our best teacher. When she talks about the boyfriend who coerced her into aborting her baby, or the lack of support from family, friends and others that made her go into that clinic, they should listen. They should listen and not condemn the woman for doing what she did. They should offer mercy and forgiveness. They should help the woman heal from this terrible wound.
When both sides have heard these stories — stories of pain, tragedy and grief — then maybe the divide will not seem as huge, the chasm not so wide. When both sides hear and understand that abortion is not good for women, and it in fact hurts them, then maybe they can work together to find solutions that will help women keep their babies, solutions that will uplift the woman and offer her satisfying and positive choices that will truly empower her. When both sides recognize that we have not as a society been meeting the needs of women — that we have failed them — that is when abortion will end. People need to understand that abortion does not free women from anything, that it in fact enslaves them to depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse or suicidal thoughts; it does not make their lives better and enable them just to go on as before. Then they will want to help women so they will never be faced with that horrible choice again. This is when both sides of this debate can come together and work on strategies and programs that can help women with practical resources and support. When these two opposing sides have this as a common goal, that is when the divide will be bridged, the gap will close and abortion will end.
© Copyright 2006 Catholic Exchange
Jane Brennan lives in Centennial, Colorado. She is currently in a master's degree program in counseling and hopes to have a private practice where she can counsel post-abortive women.
