People intrigue me. I want to know what lies beneath. Beneath the layers of perfection, resilience, pride, sadness, arrogance, insecurity, feigned ignorance, entitlement and impatience.
My husband says I’m just nosy. Maybe so, but the more I get to peel back the built up and painted on layers and catch a glimpse of the radiant light that is pulsating and searching for any rip or crevice to escape I then see what God sees and it helps me to love when my own artificial layers want to react and repel.
This morning in my quiet time I read a section from my lost but now found (praise God) “My Daily Life” red book (written by Anthony J. Paone) and it reminded me to focus on at least one of my own layers in hopes of peeling it away for good:
Self understanding is more than a mere knowledge of your shortcomings. It looks into the deficiencies and detects the root causes of them. By working at the root, you may diminish the defect to a minimum. Thus an impatient man once realized his impatience created friction and hostility within himself and those around him. He spent some time each day considering why he was so impatient when matters failed to proceed as he desired or expected. He gradually realized that he was constantly afraid that he might be exposed to disappointment in himself or open to criticism from others….. He eventually diminished his impatience through his repeated reflections on the normal imperfections of human nature and the impossibility of doing all things perfectly….He gradually became ‘convinced in practice’ that he must learn to accept some measure of disappointment and criticism as ‘normal’.
I wanted to share this with you because I know that I still have many layers to work on. The underlying material of each layer, whether it is insecurity or pride, is fear. It is a challenge to sit down and figure out what is the root fear causing that particular layer to block out the light that wants to shine? I implore you (as I will personally) to take time over these next few weeks and work on just one layer. Think about how much lighter we’ll be!
Over the weekend I was cleaning out my office going through the stuff I brought home from my church office and I found this quote that I kept up on my wall. I retyped it and gave it to both of my boys and told them to live by this every day:
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
But that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
Gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
Other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
~Nelson Mandela
