Tried and True Friendship. Sam and Dave were great friends. For years they had worked in the same government agency. Both practicing Catholics, they were committed to daily prayer and Scripture reading as well as serving in their respective parishes. Sam had a sterling reputation at work for integrity, dedication, and fun. He was one of the directors everyone wanted to work for. Meanwhile, Dave's career, though not as spectacular as Sam's, was also very solid. He was eager for promotion and was just beginning to get the kind of recognition he needed. Being a friend of Sam's was clearly a plus for his career.
Sam's popularity, however, came at a cost. He had his share of enemies who were jealous of his success, and when false accusations triggered an investigation of Sam's office, rumors began to fly. In order to protect their own reputations, people began to distance themselves from Sam. Coworkers refused to defend him, and some of his closest associates outright abandoned him to save their own skin. The charges leveled against him, coupled with his friends' betrayal, so hurt Sam that he retreated into a shell of self-pity and depression. He felt he could trust no one.
Sam's troubles presented a serious dilemma for Dave. Though he knew Sam was innocent, he also knew that to be perceived as a friend could jeopardize his hopes for promotion. Yet Dave also knew that the right thing to do was to stand by his friend. He decided to stay loyal to Sam.
Dave understood that even though he needed a lot of healing, Sam wasn't all that interested in being preached to. He simply acknowledged that what Sam was going through was unfair, but that he also believed that Sam would recover.
When Sam was forced to resign, Dave was the only one who stood by him, and it cost Dave his promotion. Dave was upset that it would turn out like this, but he still preferred this snub to abandoning a close friend and losing his own integrity. Over time, and largely because of Dave's faithfulness, Sam did get back on his feet and find another job. He never forgot Dave's kindness, and the two of them continued to get together on a regular basis.
A Divine Friend and a Common Enemy. The story of Sam's upheaval at work and its toll on his personal life is but one example of the way envy and gossip can cause deep wounds in people and damage relationships. From ethnic and racial conflicts around the globe to business partnerships gone bad to alienation and hostility within families, we are all aware of how vulnerable human relationships can be.
Dave's loyalty to Sam shows what true friendship is meant to be. Many of us have had situations in which a relationship was stretched almost to, or even beyond, the breaking point, and we all know how painful this can be. So, how can we make sure our relationships — with our friends, our neighbors, and even our spouses — survive times of testing?
As Christians, we know that the answer lies in our relationship with Jesus, the truest friend we will ever have. Jesus delights in all friendships, and he longs to bring his grace and blessing to them. He truly enjoys teaching us how to love one another with his love and offering us his wisdom and strength to overcome any obstacles that we might encounter together.
As we think about friendship, it's important to acknowledge the spiritual dimension that is part of every relationship. What could be a clearer sign of how much God loves us than the witness of his people upholding one another and sharing their lives with each other, in bad times as well as good?
On the one hand, the Holy Spirit is at work encouraging us to love, to forgive, and to support one another. On the other hand, the evil one is also at work, sowing seeds of suspicion, resentment, and mistrust. He knows that if he can destroy friendship, he can seriously weaken the body of Christ and convince unbelievers that Christianity really doesn't work. All too often, however, we fail to recognize this spiritual dimension and so we don't ask the Holy Spirit for help or keep on guard against the ways Satan may want to pull us apart.
Friendship in Times of Testing. The story about Sam and Dave should lead us to examine where we stand with our friendships. Do we recognize the ways the Spirit is blessing our friendships? How are we doing with our wife? Can we see ways the devil might want to undermine our relationships by sowing seeds of mistrust, suspicion, or resentment?
We all know how difficult it can be to establish and maintain close friendships, especially when one or the other of us experiences times of trial. We also know how rewarding it is to have a friendship that can stand the test of time and bring glory to God by reflecting his love to others.
"Heavenly Father, we ask for the grace to be faithful and loyal to you, and to be faithful and loyal friends."
Many thanks to The Word Among Us for allowing me to adapt material from their monthly devotional magazine. Used with permission.
Questions for Reflection/Discussion by Catholic Men
1. What is your reaction to the story of Sam and Dave? What were the choices Dave could have chosen regarding his friendship with Sam? Did he choose the right one? Why or why not?
2. The story of Sam and Dave should also lead us to examine where we stand with our friendships and loyalty to other men. In what ways does the Spirit empower you to be a loyal friend?
3. What is your reaction to these words in the article? "As Christians, we know that the answer lies in our relationship with Jesus, the truest friend we will ever have. Jesus delights in all friendships, and he longs to bring his grace and blessing to them. He truly enjoys teaching us how to love one another with his love and offering us his wisdom and strength to overcome any obstacles that we might encounter together." In what way does your relationship with Jesus, affect your relationship with other men?
4. How would you answer these questions from the article: Do we recognize the ways the Spirit is blessing our friendships? How are we doing with our wife? Can we see ways the devil might want to undermine our relationships by sowing seeds of mistrust, suspicion, or resentment?
