I've discovered why my mother was a big fan of fried baloney. We ate it. It was the one food we were allowed to play with, too. My youngest brother and I would bite holes into the baloney to make eyes, then chew a semi circle below for the mouth. We'd hold our meat masks up to our faces and converse normally.
My youngest brother and I shared many baloney-bonding type moments. Since he's only a year and a week older than I am, we were stuck together throughout our childhoods. We enjoyed a pure love-hate relationship, much like my own children currently exhibit.
I loved him when we went to see Santa at the mall. Until we had to share Santa's knee and he told Santa I was naughty.
I loved him when we sat together in the car. Until he kept sticking out his tongue and poking his finger on my side of the seat when mom couldn't see. Then she'd yell at me for yelling at him and I hated him.
I loved him when I learned to tie my shoes first, then he let me teach him how. Until he started telling all the neighborhood kids it was really him that taught me and he heard mom tell dad I was a slow learner.
I loved him when we played barbershop. Until he cut off one of my long pigtails and mom took me to get a Pixie cut. Which she found so convenient she made me keep for the next five years at which point my brother's hair was longer than mine. Then I hated him.
I loved him when we played the "keep the balloon from touching the floor" game. Until he used an illegal spike and sent the balloon out of bounds. So it wasn't really my fault when I broke mom's prized ceramic mushroom. Then mom yelled at us for playing with the balloon in the living room since she told us a hundred times to do that in the basement. Jimmy said it was my idea and I hated him.
I loved him when we played out in our back yard and he pushed me on the swings. Until he kept pushing when I told him to stop and I was going so high that the swingset legs were coming off the ground. I hated him until I slowed down enough to jump off, run inside and tattle.
I loved him when I got a head start and could get to mom to tattle faster than him.
I loved him when he introduced me to his cute friends and invited me out to lunch with them. Until he made me pay for his food.
But most of all I love him because he's turning forty a whole year and a week before me.
