I haven't seen any lately, maybe because I won't crack the cover of Cosmo, but it seems magazines today don't run as many, "Take Our Quiz!" features. Remember those? "Are you Love Phobic?" "Does the solar system affect your hip size?" "Could you be a better wife?" "Are you addicted to plastic surgery?" "What kind of girlfriend are you?" "Test your domestic prowess!" Sometimes I'd work the tests backwards — as if knowing to circle mostly "A's" would give me the power to become a better wife/shopper/friend/pet psychic.
No, the True Power belongs to an elite group of women gathered at school bus stops worldwide. It is they who determine the fate of local teachers, principals, politicians, insensitive husbands, Girl Scout cookie sales and grocery store managers. Are you a Bus Stop MommyÔ? Take our True or False quiz and find out!
You linger at the corner long after the bus leaves to chat with the other moms or any other present adult life form.
En route to the work you drive past the huddle of moms lingering on the corner and wish you could pull over and join them.
You risk arriving at work late to pull over and join the huddle.
Your kids drive their own car or walk to school but you still crave the company of the other neighborhood moms.
Your kids are grown but you remember what it was like to crave the company of other moms who had kids your kids' age
You're disappointed with rainy days because you have to drive your kid "all" the way to the corner.
Regular trips to the corner are the only way you know what's happening at school, the current price of paper towels, who's on vacation, still married, pregnant, on honor roll or in detention, and if your kid's new science teacher is truly a moron or simply a victim of the cafeteria rumor mill.
You suffer from information withdrawal every weekend, snow day, holiday, and summer vacation.
You walk your dog, who otherwise would never get out, to the bus stop under the guise of letting it visit the other Bus Stop Pets.
You buy, borrow or steal a dog to fit in with the other leash-clutching Bus Stop Mommies.
You learn to juggle your coffee mug, dog, doggie poopie plastic bag, forgotten text book and newspaper all at once while race-walking up hill in the freezing cold to make it to the bus stop on time.
While you're at the corner, three dozen socks back home in your washer are busy losing their mates.
You have stretch marks, cellulite and upper arms that flap way too much when you wave goodbye to the bus.
You have a stack of business cards in your bathroom drawer from the local orthodontist, pediatrician, plumber, pet sitter, therapist, carpet cleaner, mechanic and high-volume, discount wine store.
If you mostly answered, "True", congratulations! You are a full fledged Bus Stop Mommy.
If you mostly answered, "False", put down your broken crayon and join us at the corner!
