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In the Summa Theologica, St. Thomas Aquinas responds to the question of “whether pain and sorrow is assuaged by the sympathy of friends” (I-II, q. 38, a.3). He answers in the affirmative, stating that “when one is in pain it is natural that the sympathy of a friend should afford consolation.” He then builds a more complete response on the reasoning that Aristotle offers in his Ethics (ix, ii). First, since sorrow has a depressing effect, it is like a weight that we strive to lift. When we see that others, saddened by our sorrow, are also striving to lift our burden, our burden becomes lighter.
The second reason, which Aquinas believes is better than the first, is that the recognition that his friends love him, causes the sick person to experience a certain pleasure which assuages his sorrows. Therefore, writes Aquinas, “it follows that sorrow is mitigated by a sympathizing friend.”
The Angelic Doctor rejected the opinion, prevalent in his time, that a person’s condition is aggravated when he witnesses the sorrow of a sympathetic friend. The ailing person, however, recognizes that the cause of his friend’s sorrow is his love. Therefore, the love does not remain hidden and does its work in alleviating the sick person’s distress.
A friend may be considered to be “another self” (alter ipse) when he shares and sympathizes with a person’s pain. Union with that “other self” helps to soften one’s pain or sorrow. The natural kinship between human beings is the basis for love having its positive effects.
Being alone leads to loneliness, which is a hunger for companionship. Love, therefore, is a remedy, a tonic, a cure, an antidote for being alone and without anyone to lift one’s spirits.
Aquinas, and we might include Aristotle, are offering advice that is both practical and sensible in a simple and straightforward manner. Their appeal is to people who profit from reading and have respect for philosophical solutions to human problems. They delivered their wisdom to people who enjoy reading and are not in the least suspicious of philosophy. They were creatures of their times, but they were also champions of their times, doing the best with what was available in a way that was helpful.
In the modern world, people are less likely to go to a particular source for enlightenment. They prefer, in general, to be on the receiving end of information. Radio, television, and motion pictures bring information to people. Aristotle and Aquinas expected their audience to be active. In the modern world of technology, the assumption is that people, in general, will be more passive. Nonetheless, despite significant changes in how people communicate within one culture or another, there remains a common thread that unites all cultures. And that is love.
In 1920, George Gershwin wrote “Love Walked In.” Oddly, enough, it was not until seven years later that Gershwin’s brother, Ira, penned the immortal lyrics. The song may be seen as a parallel to Aquinas’ article in the Summa. Both convey essentially the same message, namely, that love can heal, though in radically different forms.
The song begins by creating a doleful mood: “Nothing seemed to matter anymore, didn’t care what I was headed for.” And then, the door opens: “Love walked right in and drove the shadows away…One magic moment, and my heart seemed to know / That love said ‘Hello.’ Though not a word was spoken.”
Whether one is reading a certain passage from the Summa or listening to Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, or Dinah Shore sing “Love Walked In,” the message is the same. Love heals. It is a timeless antidote to sorrow, sickness, or loneliness. Love, of course, is not some kind of substantial being in itself. Ira Gershwin is wise enough to inform us that love presents itself as a person, though he reserves that idea until the very end of his lyrics: “One look and I forgot the gloom of the past…when love walked in…with you.”
Articles are to be read; lyrics are to be sung. Aquinas speaks to us in moments of tranquility. We are entertained by popular songs which sometimes convey an important meaning. Each culture has its own way of communicating. Yet there are common themes that unite them all. We are creatures who need love, especially in times when we feel bereft of it.
The additional message that piggybacks our need to be loved is that we have a solemn obligation to love others. There are, of course, two sides of love: the giving and the receiving. It may be for many people more difficult to receive love, to allow it to “walk right in,” than to give love. True friends must always be ready to give and receive love. This notion seems to underline what both Aquinas and Gershwin are saying.
The fact that love is a person-to-person exchange is sometimes blurred in the modern world when people feel some kind of need to make the world a better place. Concerning this notion, St. Thomas Aquinas has offered us some good practical advice: “Since you can’t do good to everybody, first take care for those who by chance of place or time or any other circumstance are closest to you.” Love is most therapeutic when it is expressed between friends.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
