Tapestry of Life
After a long summer of outdoor activity in the garden, on the beach and through the woods, it feels good to be inside, puttering around my home, planning projects to work on this winter.
When I look outside I see the changing leaves blowing off the trees, flecks of flame being mailed on the wind. Beautiful in the air, but beaten down by the rain into slippery masses on our sidewalks and streets. A young friend likes to play baseball. For many hours each week Louis and his father throw balls on the street, or head to the field for batting practice. But when it rains he sits inside looking out, hoping for a break in the weather. Then he sees his friend Kenny begin raking up those sodden leaves across the street. “Mommy, Mommy, I have to go help Kenny sweep!” After explaining what Kenny was doing, he sums up why he wants to help: “It’s a perfect opportunity for community.”
Community is such a full word. There is more to it than the dry definition Webster offers: a social group, a neighborhood, a commonality of interests. Community is the glue that holds people together; it is the reason we help a friend or a brother, without regard to convenience, the weather or the time of day. It is the tapestry of life each of us participates in weaving, and without it we feel lost.
Feeling disconnected from other people is a leading cause of depression and hopelessness. Fighting rush-hour traffic to go home and watch television can be an isolating way of life. The trend in construction in recent decades has been toward larger houses on smaller lots: we spend less time outside maintaining our yards and gardens, less time playing catch or Frisbee with our children, more time in front of flashing screens (TV or computer). Hardly anyone in our cities spends an evening on the porch anymore, or takes an evening walk around their neighborhood talking to neighbors on their porches. Old-fashioned porch swings were more than pieces of furniture. They represented a way of life, a means of staying connected, of building community.
With so many more choices now about how to spend our time (cable and satellite broadcast stations, CDs, VHS movies, DVDs, websites, etc.) we must make a conscious effort to include more time with real people, face-to-face. Many of us live far away from family and childhood friends; we may not know our neighbors well, regardless of how long we’ve lived somewhere. Fortunately, this is something we can readily change.
May I Pet Your Dog?
Building community begins with getting to know our neighbors. Spending time in the yard allows us to meet the people who are out walking in the neighborhood. My daughter has been a dog fan since she could say “daw, daw” and wave her chubby little fist at the dog approaching from a block away. “May I please pet your dog?” was one of her first complete sentences. It’s also a great way to meet people. We recently moved, and Kristina knows the names of nearly all the dogs that pass our corner lot. The familiarity that grows from a friendly greeting helps us care about our neighbors — they become a part of our lives.
When we care about people, we look out for them and they look out for us. When they go on vacation, we keep an eye on their houses and my daughter waters their plants. When we go away, they collect our mail and see to our trash cans on collection day. These are small things that matter.
Each August in our city of Seattle, streets are blocked off and “local residents” become neighbors. Some have potluck barbecues, others play music and dance in the street. The program is called “Take Back the Night,” a sub-program of “Block Watch.” Football and Frisbee tournaments are (dis)organized, children and adults play with and get to know each other. The goal is for neighbors to get acquainted with each other’s families and patterns so that if something out of the ordinary occurs it will be noticed and appropriate action can be taken.
“Take Back the Night” is more than a party. There is also an element of emergency preparedness that makes it a vital community-building initiative. Are there elderly people living alone on your block? Are there people with small children or infants? Whose husband travels for long periods? Is there a doctor, firefighter or paramedic living nearby? Do any neighbors have epilepsy, diabetes, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s? In case of natural disaster or even an extended power outage, who will check on these neighbors? If we feel a sense of community with the people who live nearby, it will be a natural heartfelt response to look out for them, and for them to look out for us.
Methods for Building Community
I have a postcard on my refrigerator titled “How to Build Community.” It includes 43 wonderful ideas, some obvious, some whimsical: look up when you are walking, plant flowers, use your library, fix it even if you didn’t break it, pick up litter, talk to the mail carrier, help carry something heavy, start a tradition, bake extra and share, turn up the music, turn down the music, seek to understand. Certainly it is not an exhaustive list. But it serves as a catalyst, a springboard for ideas of our own.
Where does your imagination lead you? How can you build community in your neighborhood? What is personal and important to you?
Volunteering is a way to contribute to the well-being of a community, whether it is in your local neighborhood or farther afield. Children are especially receptive to making volunteer efforts — they know they can’t do everything alone, and they don’t expect everyone else to either. In a culture that celebrates independence to an extreme, it’s good to remember that we benefit from working together. When children see adults volunteer, they learn the value of offering and receiving help. And insofar as children have a knack for seeing what needs to be done and stepping up to do it, adults can learn from them, too.
The effort it takes to reach outside of our homes and ourselves is well worthwhile. Studies have shown that people who enjoy the companionship of friends and family live longer, healthier lives than those who are socially isolated. When we improve our communities through connecting with neighbors or volunteering, we make the neighborhood a better place to live, in good times and bad. Some rewards will be obvious, others less so, but they will surely be there. Every day offers an opportunity for community. How will you reach out today?
The Block Watch program opens the lines of communication between neighbors, from citizens to the police department, and from the police department to the citizens. Good communication includes tips, tools and information, as well as crime reporting. Check with your local police department for Block Watch support in your neighborhood.
If you are interested in volunteering in your community, check with your local parish, homeless shelter, community club, senior center, library, hospital or parks department. Start with something you like to do, or if you’re so inclined, allow these organizations to direct you to where the need is greatest at the time.
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