It began almost 4 years ago. My wife and I seemed to have finally started having good times within our marriage, in both finances and in our careers. We were just enjoying life and working very hard to move our careers forward. The last thing we expected was what the doctor had to tell my wife. She was pregnant!
My wife, Roxanne, was distraught to say the least. We already had two boys, both were teens and one was just about to graduate from high school. For days all she could do was cry. On the other hand I was ecstatic. As time went by, though, she became more used to the idea of having another child. Finally, we were both looking forward to having another baby in the house, to the point that I couldn't wait for him to be born.
Then things began to turn. Roxanne's doctor had her do blood work, and when the results came back she had high numbers for Down's Syndrome. The doctor said with these numbers being so high, it was almost a guarantee and suggested we think about "terminating the pregnancy." Nice way of saying "kill the baby" through abortion. It cut right down to the heart of both of us. We didn't even know what to say to each other. We were just so hurt, in deep pain, disbelief, and not knowing what to do.
Many good people tried to help us through this time. For instance, a very special person who runs the CCD program in our parish, Barbara Delafosse, offered to set up a meeting with a doctor in town and his wife who had a Down's Syndrome baby. But when you are in this situation it's as if no one can help. Still, as it says in the book of Psalms, "The Lord heard our cry." And He came and He saw us through. Roxanne finally told God, "This is my son, however he is born, I will love him with all I have. However he is born, that is between Caleb (that is what we chose to call him) and God."
I had an extremely hard time. To my shame I even turned against God. But it was as if He would not let me go. Finally the thought came to me. "I always lived my life to love children. I always prided myself on being what God wanted me to be: a man of love. Just because life is getting hard, was I going to change? My answer: 'NO WAY!'" I know the Holy Spirit was moving through me to give me the strength I needed.
Together, with the Lord's help, we chose to have a son. Because we already loved him so much it was as if he was already with us. And he was. There is nothing "wrong" with a child born with Down's Syndrome because every baby is precious and gift from God. But to prove those test results can be wrong, Caleb is now 3 years old without a single sign of the syndrome. In fact, he is incredibly smart. What a gift we have! We thought we had good times with our careers and finances before, but we were wrong. There is nothing greater than being a Mommy and Daddy.
When asked about the whole thing by another woman, Roxanne put it best: "Don't worry about the test and the numbers, you just have to have enough faith in God."
And I would simply like to say: "No matter what life brings you, don't be afraid to love. You never know when something that should be bad ends up being the greatest miracle in your life."
