[Editor's Note: This article is the fourth in a series on the theme, “Being Brothers in Christ — A Special Gift of God.” Click here to find the first article, second article, and third article.]
My story begins in late December of 1996. I was thinking about my New Year’s resolution. That particular year, I decided to work harder at practicing my faith. I wanted to go beyond the Sunday mass and occasional sacraments. I didn’t know what I was looking for exactly, but I knew that I wanted to do more, and I knew I could probably not do it on my own. I remember wanting to make time to pray more, and read the Bible more.
I also wanted to sin less. Those were specific enough and certainly measurable enough for me to keep track of. So I kept myself open during the first part of the new year. Little did I know at that time how much the Holy Spirit was going to work on me throughout that year.
Then the day that changed my life came and went without my thinking too much about it. This was the Sunday that I found a brochure in our bulletin. It was a brochure promoting an annual Catholic Men’s Conference in Cincinnati called “Answer the Call.” I recall very vividly the thoughts that went through my mind as I sat at my kitchen table after Mass and read it. I was familiar with some of the speakers. I read a testimonial in the brochure written by a 35-year-old man who had attended the year before. It read, “Today is my 35th birthday — this is one of the best birthday presents I’ve ever received.” It also read, “Recapture a personal and spiritual vision of your life.” What was on the front of the brochure was what really hooked me. It read, “An open invitation for your heart and mind.”
I often reflect on the moment I decided to go. It was actually before I even finished reading the brochure. My mind was made up. I would go and see what this was all about. Maybe it would do me some good. In retrospect, that moment for me was somewhat similar to what the apostles went through when Christ invited them with the words, “Come, follow me.” They didn’t think about it; they just dropped their fishing nets and began their journey with the Lord. The Holy Spirit was working with all who had a hand in getting this brochure into the bulletin that I took home that day. The Holy Spirit was working through all the people who influenced me to be open “just enough” when I read the brochure. I thank God every day for that moment.
The morning of the Men’s Conference, five men from my parish and I met at our church and drove together to the conference. As we drove out of town, one of the men said, “Let’s say a prayer.” And he led us in the Lord’s Prayer, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be. This marked the first time in my life that I actually prayed in a small group of men. I remember thinking, “Wow, I would have never had the guts to lead a group of guys in a prayer while driving down the road, even if they were all fellow parishioners.” What a witness that was to me.
We were some of the last men to arrive at the conference that day. When I entered the Shoemaker Center, I was expecting a few hundred men — tops. I was in for a surprise! The site of 10,000 men was overwhelming. I had no idea it was going to be that big. The numbers said to me, “This is important; you made a good decision to come, and the Holy Spirit should never be underestimated.”
Questions for Reflection/Discussion by Catholic Men
1. Who among you has experienced a Catholic men’s conference? Describe the experience you had there.
2. Why do you think attending an annual Catholic men’s conference is less threatening to many men than being part of a small group of men? Why is it insufficient for ongoing growth in our faith and building relationships with other men?
3. How has meeting with other men helped you as a husband, father, son, and brother?
4. How can a large conference support the men’s group you belong to, and how important is it for the men in your group to support/attend Catholic men’s conferences?
5. Do you know of men who were really touched by the Lord at a men’s conference and then lost their fervor through lack of follow-up to the conference? Discuss ways your group may be able to reach out to some of these men.
There were two things that happened to me that day that changed my life forever. Just before we broke for lunch, Fr. Jim Willig led us through preparation for confession. This was a period of prayer, song, and reflection. It touched me in a way I had never experienced. The Holy Spirit, through the words of Fr. Jim, called us to turn our life, and all our sins, troubles, and worries, over to God. He called on us at that point to make a public commitment to Jesus Christ. At that, I responded, “Yes Lord, I will turn my life over to you. I will change my life and become a true follower of Christ.” At that moment, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Then I felt tears of pure joy fill my eyes.
When the prayer finished, I went straight to the confession line. I was more prepared to make this confession than I had ever been before. As I entered the room where confessions were being heard, I felt like I was being guided by the Holy Spirit. I sat down next to a priest and began my confession. His words of forgiveness lifted me higher than I ever imagined. I felt a love and forgiveness like I had never felt before. His words were no different than the words of forgiveness said by all priests. The difference was the way I was led to prepare for this confession. To this day, my preparation for confession has improved, and the graces I receive from that sacrament have increased as well.
The conference continued with more outstanding talks. The crowning moment for me, however, had to be the Mass. The sight of all those priests and bishops in the processional was important for me to see in that it sent a very powerful message. It said, “We priests are here for the men of our area. We are taking time out of our busy schedule to pray for you and support you.” They spent the whole day with us and were now about to concelebrate the Eucharist. I just couldn’t believe how blessed I was to be at the conference that day. I had never imagined that God’s graces could feel that way. To this day, when I think about it I still get choked up, especially knowing how easily I could have missed the conference altogether.
Unfortunately, we cannot go to a conference every week or even once a month. That is why the small men’s groups are so important. On returning home, the men who attended that first conference gathered for a follow-up meeting with our pastor. As we discussed ways to structure our group meetings, He encouraged us to keep prayer at the center. That point, I believe, was the bond that has held our group together weekly for over three years.
Many of the men who participated in our small group meetings have moved on and expanded their ministries with various apostolates. We minister in new ways to our families and our faith community, and we bring our witness to our places of work. The yearly conferences (I call them mountain top experiences) and my weekly men’s meetings have been a blessing beyond measure for me, my wife, and my two teenaged children. All three of them have grown closer to God, in part because I have recognized my duty as a husband and a father. We pray regularly at home together. We attend weekend family retreats like Youth 2000 and programs sponsored through the Regnum Christi Movement.
Last year, my son, John, spent Holy week in Rome. He had six audiences with the Holy Father. Christ has become a powerful influence in his life. I often find myself wishing I could have had his formation when I was 16. What a great gift from God this has been for me. I have been married to my wife, Jean, a wonderful women, for 19 years. She thinks the men’s conferences and my men’s group have been the single biggest blessing of our marriage since the birth of our two children. Ministries like this conference and small groups have led me to the light, the truth, and the joy that is Christ.
My advice to men who are searching for more but are not quite sure about the idea that we men need the support of other men is that they remain open. Allow Christ to knock on the door of your heart and to bring you in contact with other men who are also searching for more. One thing I’m sure of is that we can’t outdo God and the work of the Holy Spirit. His knock can come in many different forms. But when it does come, drop your net, get up, and answer His call.
May God bless you.
(This testimonial by Dave Langenkamp was part of the Catholic Men’s E-zine, “Being Brothers in Christ — A Special Gift of God,” [Advent 2001 issue] which is available from the National Fellowship of Catholic Men on the NFCM website. The NFCM Website also has a wealth of information on Catholic men’s conferences, how to start a Catholic men’s group, solid Catholic resources for men’s groups, and much more. You may e-mail them at info@nfcmusa.org.)
Reflection Questions on Page 2
