[Editor's Note: This article is the fifth in a series on the theme “Being a Man of Love.” Click here to find the first article, second article, third article and the fourth article.]
Mother Theresa once wrote: “Let us welcome Jesus into our lives whenever he wants to come in. He comes as truth which must be spoken, as life which must be lived, as life which must be reflected upon, as love which must be loved, as the way which we must take, as happiness which we must spread, as peace which we must plant, as sacrifice which we must offer in our families and with our neighbors—whether near or far.” In the end, we all will be judged not on the scope of our accomplishments, but on how well we have loved. Below are some steps we can take each day to become men of love.
1. When you first wake up, place yourself in the Lord’s presence. Picture him standing with you, his hand on your shoulder, his heart full of love and acceptance. Ask him to let his love burn out any darkness and sin within you – any shame, anger, fear, or lack of love. Then ask him to release his Spirit into your day so that you may love others as he has loved you. Here is a prayer of St. Ignatius of Loyola that you can pray, “Take, Lord, receive all my liberty, my memory, understanding, and will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me.”
2. Set aside time each day for prayer and scripture reading. During these times, open your heart to receive Jesus’ love. As you do this, the Lord will delight in showing his great love for you, and his love will penetrate your heart and purify your mind and thoughts. The more you experience God’s love for you, the more you will reflect his love to everyone in your life: family, friends, and even enemies. Jesus’ loving heart will conquer your own hard heart, enabling his love to flow through you to others. Pray for your families and others, and pray for the men in your group who, like you, desire to live as men of love.
3. Make room in your heart for him by minimizing other loves. What are some of these loves: prestige, possessions, pleasure-seeking, television, and the like. All of these can be obstacles to receiving the Lord’s love, loving him in return, and then giving it to others.
4. Make a decision each day to be a channel of God’s love. Take simple steps: Try greeting everyone you meet with a smile. Regularly express your love to your wife, family, relatives, and friends. Be just a little more patient, especially when you feel fatigued or provoked. Go the extra mile for an inquisitive child or demanding client. Every act we perform out of love for God brings glory to him. Doing our checking accounts, playing catch with our kids, driving a carpool, listening to a friend in need—every ordinary action can become an outward expression of love for God.
5. Ask Jesus to heal your hurts and your resentments and then let go of them. Forgive anyone who has hurt you. Where possible, ask those whom you have hurt for their forgiveness. Freely give what you have freely received!
6. Throughout the day, turn to the Lord often and recall words of love from the Scriptures. Try to take a few moments during the day when you can pause and allow Jesus’ love to fill your heart. It might be a reflective moment after Mass, or a brief moment of quiet that gives you a chance to rest in the Lord’s loving embrace. It may be a time when you recall words of love from the Scriptures. These moments will refresh you and strengthen you, no matter what the circumstances.
7. Try to see others as God sees them. God wants us to see each person as one who has been created for intimacy with him, no matter what their current state may be. God wants to give us his own heart of love for each person so that we will treat them with the very same love and mercy we have received. Only God’s love can guide the way we relate to one another. Only his love can transform our lives, our family, our parish, and the whole church in a way that fills the world with awe over the power of Christian love.
8. Take captive your thoughts during the day. When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself or others, stop and recall God’s love and mercy toward you (and the other person).
9. Every night, just before bed, examine your day. Thank Jesus for all the blessings he gave you, and ask him for forgiveness from any sin, especially for those times your actions reflected a lack of love for others.
As you implement these steps, and gradually allow yourself to be emptied of all that is opposed to God, then you will be filled to overflowing with God’s love, and this love will overflow to others. Listen to these words of St. Augustine: “Beg God for the gift to love one another. Love all people, even your enemies, not because they are your brothers and sisters. Love them in order that you may be at all times on fire with love, whether toward those who have become your brothers and sisters or toward your enemies, so that, by being beloved, they may become your brothers and sisters.” Let us, then, beg God for the gift to love one another and ask the Holy Spirit to transforms us into “men of love.”
“The love of God has been poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit that has been given to us” (Romans 5:5).
“How much you love us, Jesus! You came to redeem us, not to judge us. Teach us to be witnesses to the selfless love which you showed to us. Help me to know your love in my prayer and in my actions. Give me your heart, so that through me others may come to know your love.”
Questions for Reflection/Discussion by Catholic Men
1. In what ways can the steps listed above help you to be a man of love?
2. Of the steps listed above, which ones do you believe are most important? Least important?
3. Which of the steps above do you believe you can implement right now in your life (at least 2 or 3)?
4. Are there any additional steps you would add or any you would delete from the list?
5. Define a personalized daily plan for yourself, based on the steps you identified in question 2. Share the impact these steps have had on your day with the men in your men’s group, if you are part of one, your wife, your children, or with a Christian friend. Which ones were the most helpful in your being a man of love? Least helpful?
6. Adjust your daily plan as needed and try to make the steps a part of your everyday life. Continue to share their impact at your men’s group meeting or with other Christian men.
(This article is part of NFCM's sponsorship of the Catholic Man channel and originally appeared in The Word Among Us, May/June 2003. Used with permission from The Word Among Us.)
Reflection Questions on Page 2
