In my previous article, I posited a very rudimentary argument regarding caution of secular mindfulness techniques often used in pop psychology or even individual therapy. The question following such thought is: what can I do to overcome my fears and anxieties? Aside from the possible need for medication (a conversation to have with your physician), there is something that has tremendously helped me: fostering gratitude to God.
My entire life I have combated various fears — of the unknown, heights, doing something new, change, failure, and so on. Therefore, these three suggestions are not merely platitudes I’ve come up with in order to write an article. In practice and through discipline, they have become incredibly helpful — and even my lifeline.
Remember the Blessings and Breakthroughs
For those in psychology professions, it’s common knowledge that negativity begins in our thoughts and can form patterns that become automatic for us when we are presented with a stimulus — an image, a song, a memory. We must start catching our negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts can often manifest in the form of ruminating over the future — what might happen or could happen. That’s where worry and fear intersect; they both lead us to distance ourselves from trusting God. How do we grow in greater trust? Through confidence and gratitude.
When I find myself going through days or even weeks that seem to be infested with all sorts of anxieties, there comes a point when I stop (usually during daily prayer) to examine the “why” behind it. And that’s when I revisit (again, usually in prayer) all of the blessings and breakthroughs God has granted me in my life.
What I mean by blessings and breakthroughs is the memories of every answered prayer, every time He protected me by way of my guardian angel, every act of mercy when I sinned, every gratuitous gift that arrived without expectation or even need. Recounting these in the mind is a form of spiritual combat, because the brain doesn’t have the capacity for concurrent negativity and positivity.
Ask for the grace to remember your life through God’s eyes – every moment He granted you healing, strength, peace, hope, joy, respite, a friend.
Pray with Specificity and Confidence
Not long ago, one of my friends, who is a convert from evangelical Protestantism, said matter-of-factly, “We need to pray with specificity, not ‘if’ this is Your will, Lord.” My prayer life had slumped into that exact pattern – a lot of ‘ifs’ and ‘maybes.’ When I prayed, it was as if I was generically tossing something to God but without true confidence that He would answer my prayer.
As Catholics we’re timorous approaching God in such a bold way, because we want to avoid the sin of presumption. This is a noble goal, but at the same time, it is not presumptuous to pray according to God’s will. How do we know if we are praying for God’s will then?
Say a friend comes to you with a desperate prayer request: her mom was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has a prognosis of two months, tops. She wants healing, of course, but you are reticent to ask God for it. There is a way to pray – with confidence – and know that what you are asking of Him is aligned with His will.
In this case, you could ask God for either physical or spiritual healing for your friend’s mother. You know that God wants each of us to be healed, if not in this life then in eternal life. Pray with specificity that your friend’s mother will experience reconciliation with her family or (if she’s Catholic or fallen away) to receive the Last Rites.
We need to start praying to God with the expectation that He is bigger than our limited understanding of Him. Doing so exponentially increases our faith, which shrinks fear and worry. How can we be afraid when we trust in God’s provision for our lives?
Be Content with What You Have, Here and Now
One of the most difficult things for me is to simplify my life, both materially and spiritually. I’m restless, thinking of what is beyond the present moment. There’s ‘something more’ that I can’t seem to fully grasp.
When I look at every detail of my life, peace washes over my soul. Though it sounds trite, I look around my home at the wedding gifts Ben and I received almost 11 years ago. I remember the wholesome food that’s in our fridge. I notice our backyard and admire the landscaping. I peer across the street and am reminded of what wonderful neighbors we have.
There’s something very grounding about focusing on what is before us, in this moment, space, and time. We cannot occupy our minds with thoughts of the future when we are noticing the gift of today. Instead of longing for what we don’t have, we can pray for the virtue of simplicity.
Mindfulness might be intriguing because of the enticement of ‘freedom from suffering.’ But authentic holiness is arduous. Practicing these three steps of gratitude might seem easy, but they require intentional, daily work.
Look at the birds of the sky and flowers of the fields and be reminded that your heavenly Father cares far more for you than they. Then thank Him for giving you all these things and more.
