The litmus test for Catholics is “Do you believe in God?” This belief, however, is not adequately answered by a simple “yes” or “no” but by how a person practices his belief. A crucial test comes for married couples with the issue of contraception.
Now that Bishop Sheen has been proclaimed “blessed,” his books may be taken with greater respect and credibility. Seventy-five years ago, Blessed Sheen wrote Three to Get Married. God is ever present in our lives. Marriage is an opportunity to embrace God or to exclude Him. “The love of husband and wife,” Sheen writes, “is perfected as it becomes triune; now there is the lover, the beloved, and love—the love being something distinct from both, and yet in both.” Without God, an essential element is missing in married life.
God is Love and the source of all love. God is also Triune, expressing love within Himself. The Sacrament of Matrimony brings God into marriage in a special way as the Creator of life. Marriage is far more than the love two people have for each other. It welcomes the love of God, including the way He expresses His Love by creating new life. Human procreation is a continuation of the creation that flows from the Hand of God.
Contraception is a disruption between creation and procreation. It is a way in which the spouses say, in effect, we do not welcome your creative Love at this time. We have chosen to live our married life under the present circumstances without the need of being open to God for new life.
The reasons put forward for the use of contraception are not in the least difficult to understand. Contraception is designed to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. When a married couple does not want a child, but at the same time does not want to abstain from conjugal intimacy, contraception appears to make sense. It is a way in which a couple refrains from getting what it does not want, while maintaining what it does want.
What seems to be eminently sensible, however, is based on a faulty premises. Contraception is not foolproof. It does not always work. It cannot be relied upon in all cases. When it fails, there are dire implications. People may think they are being responsible when they use contraception, but this presumed virtue often leads to the irresponsibility of abortion.
Colleen Bader Toland has a great deal of experience teaching natural family planning. She makes the observation that “The unquestioned promise of contraception, that people have the right to have sex without [undesirable] consequences, necessitates that abortion be available when contraception fails. Until this irrational belief in consequence-free sex is overcome, abortion will remain a stain on our nation’s soul.”
Having marital sex while closing the door to God represents a blunder that we can readily understand on an analogical level. An engaged couple is sending out wedding invitations. According to the traditional protocol, invitations are sent to those whose presence at the wedding is welcomed. But it is contrary to tradition to send disinvitations to those who are excluded from the ceremony. The disinvitation might read as follows: “Dear Jim and Jane: we will be getting married on November 20th of this year, but we do not want you to be present at the marriage. Ushers have been advised to escort you from the premises if you dare show up.”
There are good reasons why such disinvitations are not acceptable. They are insulting, belligerent, and, most of all, entirely unnecessary. They could ruin friendships. The accepted and honored custom is simply not invite those who are not on one’s list. This way, no one is hurt.
Contraception is sending God a disinvitation. It is telling God that His creative presence is not wanted. But this would constitute blasphemy in the mind of anyone who believes in God. God is to be reverenced, not pushed out of the way. If God’s creative act is not wanted at a particular time and under particular circumstances, the appropriate thing to do is simply not to have sex, which is equivalent to not sending a disinvitation. God wants to remain friends with us. Sending Him a disinvitation, which is contraception’s essential message, is a violation of friendship.
The Catholic who believes in God puts that belief into practice. He does not want to offend Him. He understands that marriage, being triune, embraces and does not reject God. He also understands that trying to make marriage work without God leads to an assortment of problems including alienation of affection, divorce, and abortion. Contraception can hardly be seen as a conception preventative when roughly a million abortions take place in the United States annually.
Being a Catholic requires strong faith. It includes the belief that He exists, is caring, is trustworthy, and will not fail us when we call upon Him in prayer. The contraception issue is a litmus test for the true Catholic. A married couple does not want to repudiate God or remove Him in any way from their life. Contraception is the great temptation to ask God to leave so that a married couple not fear His creative act. We should not look upon God with suspicion, but with trust. It should not be surprising, then, that Catholic teaching against the use of contraception has been clear, consistent, and forceful throughout Her history.
Photo by Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition on Unsplash
