A few days ago, a friend shared with me that she and her husband will be traveling out-of-state to visit their adult daughter. This daughter went “no contact” with them five years ago, severing the relationship and causing many wounds within the family. The invitation to cautiously begin rebuilding the relationship fills my friend with profound hope.
In many ways, human relationships within our current culture are in crisis. With anxiety, depression, division, and loneliness reaching epidemic levels, Pope Leo’s recent encyclical Magnifica Humanitas addresses this concern, especially as it relates to digital technology and a depleted understanding of the human person.
In fact, although the Holy Father is clear that he is not “anti-tech,” he is equally clear that both the use of AI and advances in AI technology must employ tremendous prudence. Included within this prudential thought, consideration must be given to the effects of digital technology on relationships.
Pope Leo acknowledges that “the danger [with AI] is not so much that a person may believe they are communicating with another person, but rather that they may gradually lose the very desire to form genuine human connections” (§100). Unfortunately, this diminished interest in building human relationships is already happening with recent surveys showing that as many as 83% of Gen-Zers believe that they can form a strong, personal relationship with an AI bot.
Unfortunately, although the Holy Father affirms that the “human person is created for relationship” (§50), we live in a world in which an “AI assistant” or “AI Chatbot” can overtake nearly all our daily communication and interactions. The results of this machine interaction versus human interaction raises concern.
In fact, the decline in authentic human interaction contributes to the anxiety, depression, loneliness, division, and even the “no contact” that we experience in our world today. Additionally, with AI adding ease and efficiency to life, we may also be losing our ability to sustain the effort needed to strengthen relationships, endure discomfort and suffering while growing in community, and understand and express true love.
As people grow less relationally connected and more self-absorbed, a new book by Fr. Joseph Spence, FFM offers profound insight and possible solutions to the relational maladies of today. His book, Learning How to Love with St. Thérèse: Seven Windows into True Charity, gives readers a “little way” toward living out the most important of the commandments, namely, loving God and loving others (Mt. 22:36-40).
The relational challenges we face today are significant, and St. Thérèse offers little practices that can build great love within the communities in which we live and work. By sharing excerpts from her writings, Fr. Spence highlights the way that Thérèse lived her relationships with God, family, and others. Notably, following a short biographical sketch, Fr. Spence begins by pulling back the curtain on the window of Thérèse’s relationship with God. In quoting St. Thérèse, who stated, “I applied myself especially to loving God,” Spence admits that “it was precisely through living the experience of a strong love for God that she found the necessity to love her neighbor.”
Moreover, Spence shares a comment from the Little Flower that gives the reader a glimpse into how loving God can translate into loving our neighbor, even those neighbors who rub us the wrong way. Reflecting upon the words of Jesus, Thérèse writes, “A new commandment I give you that you love one another: that as I have loved you, you also love one another. […] How did Jesus love His disciples and why did He love them? Ah! It was not their natural qualities that could have attracted him.” Then, Thérèse makes a startling admission:
There is in the community a sister who has the talent of displeasing me in everything, in her ways, her words, her character, everything seems very disagreeable to me. […] And still, she must be very pleasing to God. […] Not wishing to give in to the natural antipathy that I was experiencing, I told myself that charity must not consist in feelings but in works.
This willingness to master her natural feelings of dislike toward the religious sister in her community, and to intentionally offer kindness and love, demonstrates her deep understanding of the dignity of every person—including those with whom we disagree or dislike.
Additionally, Fr. Spence gives the reader a peek through the window of St. Thérèse’s family life. In a world that radically misunderstands the human person and the value of the family, this glimpse into the Martin clan is of tremendous importance. At once, the reader quickly notices a family that worked, went to school, supported one another, and experienced suffering.
What is exceptionally notable within the family was their willingness to help one another. Whether it was an older sister showing kindness to the younger sisters following their mother’s death, or an uncle who invited the widowed father and his daughters to move closer to them so that he and his family could better support them, the Martin family worked together; played together; suffered together; offered gratitude, mercy, and patience toward one another; and they loved…together.
Fr. Spence also shares a letter that St. Thérèse wrote to her father in which she expresses tremendous gratitude and love. At the time that Thérèse wrote this letter, her father was already beginning to experience his sufferings with mental decline. Thérèse writes, “Thanks for everything, good little Father. If only you knew how much your little [Thérèse] loves you! …” What a beautiful reminder of the love, gratitude, and respect that the fourth commandment calls us to.
Finally, Fr. Spence shares with readers St. Thérèse’s heroic love of sinners, priests, and others, thus providing guidance for 21st century Americans living in a wounded world. Rather than overly focusing on her own feelings of hurt and loneliness, or her own need for affirmation and love, St. Thérèse turned her thoughts toward Christ and others. Importantly, she prayed for others, asking God to give her the grace to love them more, while continually practicing humility and gentleness.
As AI and other digital innovations continue to advance, the questions on how best to utilize the technologies within our work environments, local communities, schools, parishes, the media, and our homes will remain a priority—especially in regards to the many relationship challenges we face today. In a wounded world of loneliness, broken relationships, anxiety, and division, St. Thérèse models a “still more excellent way” (1 Cor. 12:31), giving us “a little way” to love. By intentionally interacting with other people, upholding their dignity through kindness, patience, humility, and love, it is this “little way” of loving God and others that might just save our families, our communities, and perhaps even our world.
St. Thérèse, pray for us!
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
