My birthday usually falls during Lent or on Good Friday, but this year it fell during the Octave of Easter. Our culture can put a lot of pressure on birthdays, especially when people are younger. Entire movies and books have been written about birthdays. Families throw extravagant parties, much like Bilbo Baggins in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring. I have found, however, that my birthday is much more enjoyable when I seek to serve and minister to others, rather than focus on what I receive. I learned the joyful tradition of giving gifts away by intentionally ministering to others on my birthday.
The hobbit practice of giving away gifts on birthdays is discussed in The Fellowship of the Ring during the preparations for Bilbo’s 111th birthday. Tolkien says:
“Hobbits give presents to other people on their own birthdays. Not very expensive ones, as a rule, and not so lavishly as on this occasion; but it was not a bad system. Actually in Hobbiton and Bywater every day in the year was somebody’s birthday, so that hobbits in those parts had a fair chance of at least one present at least once a week. But they never got tired of them. On this occasion the presents were unusually good.”
As I get older, I find that I need or want less and less. When my birthday comes around, I often have a very hard time figuring out what I’d like as a gift. I usually tell my husband I’d like a bunch of tulips. We got a golden retriever puppy last month and I decided she would be my gift this year.
A few years ago, I decided to make a point of serving in ministry in some way on my birthday. One year, instead of a birthday dinner for me, we took dinner to homeless families staying at our parish. This year, I took Holy Communion to the sick who are in the hospital. There is no greater gift than Our Lord’s Real Presence in the Holy Eucharist. Hobbit gifts were not particularly expensive, but I had the great privilege of the taking the greatest of gifts to those who are suffering. Our Lord is particularly close to these afflicted souls.
Turning away from ourselves to serve others—even when the day is a celebration of the gift of our own lives—is a tremendous gift in itself. It takes the pressure off of finding the perfect gift, party, or meal. In fact, it takes the focus away from self and places it onto others, which means there are no expectations other than to give. This gets in the way of self-pity or disappointment when things do not go our way.
For many people, not getting exactly what they want or the party they desire can create animosity or anger towards others. While we should celebrate birthdays, we should do so with humility and charity and without the expectations that it will be everything we hoped for. There are no material gifts that can ultimately fulfill us. Only the Lord can fulfill us.
When we seek to give to others, we are allowing the Lord to fulfill us on the day we celebrate the gift of life He has given to each one of us. Our lives are meant to be lives of service towards others. We are called to give our lives away. The gift of our lives is meant to be shared with others, especially those who are suffering. This is the ultimate celebration of our birthdays.
Since my birthday is usually on Good Friday or the penitential season of Lent, it seemed fitting to take Our Risen and Glorified Lord to those who are undergoing crucifixion through illness in order to remind them that the Resurrection comes. It was an opportunity to proclaim the Good News to those who have fallen away from Him. The first two people I visited were brand new moms who have fallen away from their Catholic upbringing. They went through the crucifixion of labor and delivery and were now basking in the joy of new life in their babies.
The first mom had been away for a while. I could not give her Holy Communion, but the Lord used this opportunity to meet her in that moment and invite her back to Himself. I was able to share with her all of the family activities we have at our parish and the mom’s group. I invited her to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I was then able to pray over her. When I finished, she was in tears. The Lord called her by name as He called to St. Mary Magdalene after the Resurrection. I was able to bring the gift of His invitation to her.
The second mom wasn’t ready to return to church or prayer, but I was able to meet her where she was and chat with her. I know her family, so we were able to share memories and she at least knew that a sister in Christ came to visit her. We never know what seeds the Lord will sprout in souls in His time. All we can do is throw out as many seeds as possible.
I went to visit multiple other patients who are practicing Catholics. I brought them His True Food and True Drink in their agonies. One patient was in immense pain, but he knew the Lord was the only One who could heal him. I stayed to visit with him and his daughter for a while. The visit came with a gift I never expected when he looked at me and asked me how many children I have. I told him: “I have one here and five with Our Lord.” He said: “You have a powerful cohort interceding for you.” Tears welled up in my eyes at this reminder and his understanding. Giving myself away in service to this gentleman resulted in an unexpected gift for myself.
Later in the morning, I stood silently next to a sedated patient in intensive care and prayed for him while carrying Our Lord’s Real Presence with me. He may not know that Our Lord and I were there until the next life, but it was an immense honor to quietly pray for him. He was alone with no family present. I may end up being the only person who prays for him, which is why it is important that I stopped to pray with him. My husband and I often see patients with no visitors when we minister at the hospital or visit friends who are in-patients.
I could very easily have made yesterday about myself. I spent much of my life doing just that. However, I have found more joy and an abundance of gifts ever since I started giving gifts to others on my birthday through service. Hobbits give one another small gifts, but I am able to silently carry the Lord of the universe in a pyx in my pocket to give to His beloved sick. He is there when I step on the elevator with others and I silently pray for them to encounter Him. He is there healing, loving, and strengthening as I go from patient to patient. He is able to give Himself to these souls because I said yes to His invitation to serve others rather than focus on myself.
How would our world be transformed if we as Catholics intentionally chose to serve and give gifts to others on our birthday? Each day, new people would be blessed—much like the hobbits and their gifts—and brought back to Christ by our self-donation. What if one person each day encountered the Lord and either returned to the Church or converted because we chose to give spiritual gifts to others on our birthdays? How many homeless would be fed? How many afflicted souls would be ministered to? How many souls would be saved? I am convinced that it is much better to be like a hobbit and give gifts away on our birthday.
