Today more and more couples are delaying getting married. And many others are choosing to have fewer children or no children at all. For instance, in the mid-1970s, “40% plurality of mothers who had reached the end of their childbearing years had given birth to four or more children. Now, a similar share (41%) of mothers at the end of their childbearing years has had two children, and just 14% have had four or more children.” Sacrifice is lost on many people, while selfishness pervades. Sacrifice was the very life of the holiest parents who ever lived.
Here begins the third hallmark in the series of learning about the parents of the saints and what they did to raise holy children: Sacrificial Love.
From her youth, St. Teresa of Calcutta learned firsthand from her mother what it means to die to self so as to live for others. St. Teresa’s mother, Dranafile, used to assist an elderly woman who was abandoned by her family. She would bring her food and help tidy up her house. Dranafile helped others in need, including washing and feeding an alcoholic lady. The family also invited the less fortunate to dine with them. The Gospel was not just heard at Sunday Mass by St. Teresa’s parents; it was lived out in her home:
He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your kinsmen or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return, and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just. (Lk. 14:12–14).
Sacrificial love lies at the heart of the Gospel. St. Teresa of Calcutta embraced her calling to serve the poorest of the poor in India’s slums through God’s grace and the holy example set by her parents in her youth. Many people want to be noticed for their good deeds or want reciprocity. And yet, “Sacrificial love does not count the cost—it simply gives, expecting nothing in return, silent, unseen, and hidden from man’s eyes and only visible to God Himself, like a stone thrown in the sea” (O’Hearn, 2021, p. 213).
In the home of Bl. Chiara Badano, her mother Maria Teresa once asked her if she wanted to help those in need by donating some of her toys. At first, Bl. Chiara said no. But then she realized that she wanted to give away some of her best toys. Because of Original Sin, children must be taught generosity by their parents. Unfortunately, selfishness can creep into our vocations, especially if we have never been shown why it is more blessed to give than to receive.
Bl. Chiara’s mother also came to an important discovery:
I had always worked at the biscuit factory and was afraid of being bored by housework. But I soon realized how important it is to be with your own child, not so much talking, but “being” a mother, in other words, loving. This was the only legacy that I could leave her: to teach her to love. (209–210)
Another sad reality is that many children will spend more time on social media than with their parents and vice versa. Parents have a short window to raise their children to be saints, often only eighteen years before their children leave the house. While not every parent can homeschool, it is vital that parents maximize this precious window of opportunity to be fully present to their children. Sacrificial love puts God, our spouse, our children, and our neighbor above our own career and pursuits of pleasure. The parents of the saints reveal that nothing is so important as using one’s time wisely and above all, using it for God’s service and glory! These parents were not concerned with raising the brightest scholar or most successful businessperson. They were concerned with raising a virtuous, sacrificial soul.
St. Padre Pio’s father, Grazio Forgione, twice traveled to the United States to fund Pio’s schooling, enabling him to join the Capuchin Order at fifteen. Pio later said, “My father crossed the ocean twice so that I could become a monk” (207). Pio’s tireless sacrifice in hearing confessions mirrored his father’s selflessness, showing that the parents of saints often pave the way with heroic virtue and sacrificial deeds, no matter how small.
Raising a saint is a miracle, but God’s grace never fails. It begins with a single prayer and act of love.
Editor’s Note: This article is part three of a series on the parents of saints by Patrick O’Hearn.
Photo from ChiaraBadano.org
