Don’t Worry About It
• Consider the monogram. I have an aunt whose initials are H.E.R. That was always fine. I’m sure it would have been much more difficult for an uncle. Worst still would be a monogram that spells a naughty word. Or even misspells a naughty word. Or a bodily function. But who would even think such a thing? At least several kids in your kid’s class when they learn your child’s middle name.
• All bets are off with middle names. Go wild. Everyone accepts the fact that parents frequently go wild and all bets are off with middle names.
• Seriously consider a saint’s name. What could be better, what could be more appropriate, than the name of a saint or holy person from Scripture? This really can begin a lifelong tie, a true relationship, between your child and that saint or holy person. Your son or daughter can have a personal patron.
(Not too sure about who’s who among saints and biblical figures? There are plenty of books around that can help. And many websites, too.)
• Accept the fact that no matter what unique and special name you choose, there will be two others kids with the same name in his preschool or on her soccer team.
• Don’t worry. Really. You’re going to do fine. No matter what name you choose it’s going to be just the right name. I guarantee it.
Very, very quickly you and everyone else will agree that little Whatever is clearly and completely a Whatever.
And a Whatever — or a next-generation Whatever — is exactly what the family needed.
I work there a couple evenings a week and parents come by to sign up their kids for swimming and dance and such. And some of the names…
I assume they’re pleased as punch with what they have chosen but now it’s starting to dawn on them that they — and their children — are going to spend years spelling it out.
I know parents-to-be have enough stress. Picking a name — the right name — is just one of many tasks. Not only do Mom and Dad have to agree on a choice, but they have to be ready to present a united front to family, friends and co-workers who might very well react, “You’re naming the baby what!”
Then, too, it’s easy to assume that name will affect the life and well-being of that child for the rest of his or her life.
Talk about pressure.
The Classics Work
That’s why, as the father of three adult children, I want to offer a little advice and encouragement to soon-to-be parents:
• It’s hard to go wrong with a name that’s already in the family. Your father’s. Your spouse’s mother’s. A grandma or grandpa.
• Some names have withstood the test of time. Michael. Mary. John. Thomas. You know what they are. Odds are you have more than a few of those dangling from your own family trees. The classics work.
• Stick with the traditional, most common spelling unless there’s an ethnic/heritage issue involved. Then a tip-of-that-hat to the old country can be a grand idea.
• Consider what the nickname will be. You may think you are naming your daughter Carolyn but, like it or not, you’re really dubbing her Carrie. Believe me. I know whereof I speak. I assumed my little girl would always be Carolyn. Before she left the hospital she was, for all practical purposes, Carrie.
Other Important Considerations
• It’s usually best to avoid giving all your children names that start with the same letter. Bobby, Betty, Billy, and Ted. Ted! Yes, because as the years roll by, you’re going to be sick of that letter, run out of names you like that start with it, and spend way too much time explaining what happened. Then, too, if you use the same letters people will assume you really wanted to start some sort of family singing group and secretly want to dress your children in matching outfits.
• Think of the kids’ names as a total package. “These are my sons John, Paul and George.” What will the public’s reaction be? Right. “Where’s Ringo?” Ayuck ayuck, ayuck.
• Keep in mind that stereotypes will continue. If you give your boy a name that most people associate with a wimp, he’s in trouble. Ditto if you give your daughter one that makes people think of a whale. Yes, I know this is terribly unfair but it is your child that will bear the brunt of society’s prejudice.
• “Juniors” take some ribbing. The “IIIs” may be considered failures if they don’t end up rich. And the “IVs” are going to get beat up a lot in junior high.
• Don’t choose a name that is famous or infamous. For example avoid Sarah or Robert Edward if your last name is Lee. The Bordens would be wise to choose something other than Elizabeth.
