How Lent Can Strengthen Your Marriage

I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that most people think about Lent as a time to enter more deeply into their personal spiritual life. However, when you think about it, Jesus’s Passion is about a relationship—His overpowering love for us and our attempts to love Him in return.

What could be more fitting than to take Lent as an opportunity to grow closer to God and to your spouse?

Consider dedicating yourself as a couple to the following three Lenten acts. Remember, God cannot be outdone in generosity!

Pray Together

Prayer will help you get to know each other in a deeper way. It reminds you that when you are married, you are one, body, mind, soul, and spirit. As we get closer to each other we also get closer to God; that’s the ultimate goal, to bring our spouse to God.

  • Attend Mass: If you’re not already attending Sunday Mass together, add it to your schedule. Why not take it a step further and add a daily Mass sometime during the week?
  • Pray for each other. When you rise each day, just say to the Lord “I offer you this day for my spouse.”
  • Pray for your family. In the same way, you can offer your day for your children.
  • Pray together. Why not make the decision to kneel by your bed each evening together to present your expectations, your plans, your dreams, to the Lord?

Sacrifice

Have you ever heard of self-giving love? Are you interested in increasing in your capacity to love your spouse? Consider the following an essential “to-do” list:

  • Resentment: Resentment is a message from God telling you that something must change in YOU! In prayer, find what you can change to disarm resentment. Giving more to your spouse is one way.
  • Complaining: Decide to fast from complaining and destructive criticism this Lent. Stop looking at yourself. Instead, train yourself to see the good in your spouse, his/her best qualities.
  • Bickering: Your spouse is not perfect. Maybe it’s a good idea to remember that we are all wounded in some way. Learn to have compassion, listen to the pain in your spouse. See the bigger picture, it will help you relax and bring peace to the family.
  • Balancing Your Spouse: Rather than just being upbeat and happy to counteract when your spouse is struggling with his/her emotions, try empathy and active-listening. It works much better!
  • Feeling Out of Love: Love is a verb, love is a decision! So love your spouse by serving, sacrificing, listening, empathizing, appreciating and affirming him/her.
  • Worrying: Offer these worries up to God, say this prayer together:
    “My God I am so certain that you watch over those who hope in you, and that one can lack nothing when one expects everything from you,
    that we have decided to live from now on without anxiety and to unload on you all my worries.” (St Claude de la Colombière).

Almsgiving

Almsgiving literally means giving to the poor. People are poor in different ways and there are a variety of ways to serve them. People who may need your assistance are:

  • People without money/food/and shelter
  • People without family and friends who could use some of your time
  • A parish, community or family that needs your time, talent and treasure
  • Give to your family: more time, more attention, spend more time together, eat more meals together, and listen to each other.

As a couple, discern how you are being called to serve others. Then, make a realistic plan to give generously to others, while still continuing to take care of your spouse and children.

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Christian and Christine Meert are the founders of Catholic Marriage Prep, an online marriage preparation course rooted in the Theology of the Body. The Meerts will be presenting at the World Meeting of Families in Fall 2015. For more information visit,www.catholicmarriageprep.com.

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