It is inevitable this time of year that there are questions from children surrounding the mysterious and mystical events of God made man. But children are simple. The reality that God can become a baby and even be born in a dirty, flea-bitten manger does not faze them when they learn that God chose to do it to save us from our sin. It is usually the adults that complicate life.
Take Santa Claus. Our family tries to focus very clearly on the fact that Santa Claus is a real person — St. Nicholas. This has helped with many a question surrounding the jolly fellow. The North Pole? No. St. Nicholas does not live in the North Pole. He lives in Heaven with Jesus. But I guess with an operation like Christmas, there has to be a headquarters somewhere on earth. Is Santa really able to see me right now? Well, Jesus, who is good friends with St. Nick, can see you always. And Mom and Dad can also talk to him in prayer. So can you. So how does he deliver so much on just one night? Well, it must be a miracle of love because with Jesus, all things are possible, especially for those who love.
If it was solely up to me, I wouldn't bother with the Santa Claus theme. We would better celebrate December 6th as St. Nicholas's feast day and gifts exchanged on the 25th would be from loving friends and family. However, to everyone around me — and I mean everyone — from grandparents, to friends and acquaintances who come up to my children talking about Santa, to the Breakfast-with-Santa event at the parish, not to mention all the imagery surrounding us in the stores and in print, I would simply become the humbug of the season. And I do recognize that sometimes I just need to lighten up. Hence, I have to get creative in answering these questions that pop up every now and then.
So when I was asked a profound question (again, very simple to the young) by my oldest son, it spun me into some quite deep reflection on the gift, the giver, and the recipient. He very simply asked me the very loaded question: Do ALL children get gifts from Santa, or do only the good ones? I knew exactly what he was asking through that simple question. He knows there are children out there that have not been so good during the year. Some of them aren't even sorry for it. Sometimes those are the ones that get the biggest, flashiest gifts from "Santa". He also knows that he has not been perfect, although he knows that the Sacrament of Reconciliation wipes clean his slate (as long as he is truly sorry). He is very simply trying to define in black and white terms the line between "good" and "bad" as would be applied to this "list" Santa holds.
The reality? All children whose families celebrate gift-giving during Christmas will receive gifts. It doesn't matter if they have been naughty or nice. It doesn't matter if they have been to confession or are even sorry for having done wrong. The gifts are still given. The children are still loved. And what a powerful, albeit imperfect, reflection of how much God loves us. No matter how awful we are, whether knowing or unknowing, whether repentant or not, the Gift of Jesus' sacrifice for each and every one is still offered to us.
The problem is that we cannot see the Gift with our blind eyes. The packaging? There is no sparkly fun paper to tear into that is adorned with ribbons and bows. No one would pass up receiving that kind of gift. The packaging, instead, starts with a cuddly baby. Many people are drawn to this nice bundle. But it quickly morphs into a Cross, blood and tears, pain and suffering adorned with a crown of thorns. A stumbling block to the Jews and folly to Gentiles (1 Cor 1:23). We all can stumble on this as well.
After stumbling, we can stand again and accept this definition of a Savior. We can even embrace that God so loved the world that He would give His one and only Son in sacrifice to save it. The ultimate Gift to mankind. Truly, the Gift speaks more of the Giver than of the receiver.
With this concept of gift and giver, it was fairly easy to put the question to rest. Wouldn't it be nice to leave it as neatly packaged as that? But we can't. We still have to know what to do with this cross-shaped packaging. The Gospel writers tell us that we must take up our own crosses to be able to follow Christ, or we are not worthy of Christ (Mt 10:38, Mt 16:24, Mk 8:34, Lk 9:23). If we do not take up our own crosses, we are not worthy of the Gift. It is still offered to us, but to receive and open up the Gift, we have to take up the Cross just like Christ. The receiver is to become the giver.
John Paul II wrote in his Theology of the Body about how man cannot find fulfillment unless he gives himself as a gift to another person. Those who have received a celibate vocation, give themselves back to God as gift. For those who have received a vocation to marriage, the gift of self is given to the spouse in imitation of the life of the Trinity. Either way, the receiver of the Gift is to then become the giver. This Advent, we who are married may find it necessary to reflect upon the quality of our gift to our spouses. Remember, the gift speaks more about the giver than of the receiver. Do we imitate Christ this way?
If we are honest with ourselves, we will surely hear the voices…
My husband doesn't talk with me like he used to! How well do we converse with Christ each and every day?
My wife pays more attention to the kids than to me! Do we keep Christ first in our attentions? Or do work, social life, hobbies, distractions keep us from Him?
You just don't know what he did (or didn't do) the other day! What have we done or didn't do according to Christ's will?
But you should have heard what she said! Have we said plenty to Our Lord that is nothing short of a slap in the face, an outright rejection of His desires for the best for us?
The list here is almost infinite.
Clearly, each and every one of us fails these questions at one point or another and in so many ways. All that our own little voices do is prove that our spouses are not perfect. We don't need our these voices to tell us that humans are frail and sinful; all we have to do is look in the mirror! We, too, are less than perfect and have much room for improvement, especially in our relationships with God. What do we do, then, when we turn back toward our imperfect spouses?
This brings us face to face with the Cross. We have a choice. Either we reject the Cross, thereby rejecting the Gift because of our self-righteousness, or we embrace the Cross and continue to make a gift of ourselves in love, in spite of our imperfect spouses. Isn't this what Christ did? He made a Gift of Himself to each one of us in spite of our sinfulness. Is what any of our spouses have done to us anywhere near the magnitude of what we all have done to Christ?. It is in embracing the weight of the Cross — the challenge of giving even when we don't feel like it — that we receive the Gift. We must trust Jesus when He tells us that He makes this burden light.
After all, Santa offers gifts even when children are not perfect.
I knew you'd be wondering how on earth I could connect Santa with the Theology of the Body. Our simple children often ask the deepest questions. We adults complicate life when we invent unnecessary trimmings (like Santa) and when we have to answer deep questions (like those about Santa). My life would certainly be simpler if we'd just go back to celebrating the feast of St. Nicholas. But then, I guess I would have missed this prompting of my son to gain a deeper understanding of my own marital vocation.
