Don’t Give in to Discouragement

Psychologists tell us that one of the chief evils of our age, an evil apparently less evident in earlier ages, is that of easy defeat. Be this as it may, most people who are honest with themselves would probably have to admit to indulging in despondency. They are fortunate if they have nothing worse to confess than despondency; there are many who labor under the weight of near-despair. Whether guilty of surrendering to the tempta­tion or whether burdened with a sense of guilt that in fact is without foundation, a man can reduce his spiritual vitality so as virtually to close his soul to the operation of hope. When hope dies, there is very little chance for faith and charity.

It is a commonplace to observe that the saints were not those who never fell, but those who never gave in to their falls. It is less generally understood that the saints felt just the same longing as we do for the excuse to go on falling. The parable of the wheat and the cockle should show us that the saints were not only as divided against themselves interiorly as we are, but that they had to go on struggling all their lives against the de­sire to let the cockle have its way.

A mistake we make is to think of the saints as triumphing over temptation by the felt force of ardent love. Some of them, certainly, experienced this fire, but for the most of them it has been a question of grinding out dry, hard acts of faith and hope through clenched teeth. The saints have had to fight every inch of the way against discouragement, defeatism, and even despair.

How could it be otherwise? No virtue can be productive of good unless it comes up against the evil that is its opposite. Courage is not courage until it has experienced fear: courage is not the absence of fear, but the sublimation of fear. In the same way, perseverance has to be tried by the temptation to give up, by the sense of failure, by an inability to feel the support of grace. The reason Christ fell repeatedly — one tradition would have it that He fell seven times — is at least partly be­cause we fall repeatedly and have need of His example in re­covering from our falls. The difference between His falls and ours is that, whereas His were because of weakness of the body, ours are because of weakness of the will. The likeness between His and ours lies simply in the use that can be made of them.

Even if we do not reproduce the Passion in any other re­spect, we have the chance of reproducing it in perseverance under exhaustion. If, as we have seen, the Passion is con­stantly being renewed in the members of Christ’s Mystical Body, there must always be some aspect of Christ’s suffering to which our own personal sufferings can show an affinity. If we are bearing witness to the same truth, opposing the same evil, moving in the same direction, then the same means must be used by us as those that were used by Christ — namely, patience and endurance in the all-but-defeating experience of life. The effort that we make to regain the position lost by ei­ther circumstances or sin will reflect the effort made by Christ to return to the interrupted work of cross-bearing. Nothing of our experience need be wasted, not even our sinfulness.

So it would seem that the truly Christian man transcends discouragement only by accepting it. No man can pass beyond an obstacle except by facing it and rising above it. To go around an obstacle is not to overcome it, but to evade it. Circumven­tion may be all right when we are traveling along a road, but it will not do when we are advancing toward God by the way of the Cross.

This article is from Dom van Zeller’s book, available from Sophia Institute Press

Of the three answers that are given to the problem of pain, it is only the Christian answer that is found to provide any lasting conviction. The Stoic approach, stifling complaint, can carry a man to heroism of a sort, but it does not supply him with a philosophy; it does not point to anything beyond a nat­ural nobility to be developed in physical endurance.

Then comes the Christian ideal, which has nothing to do with negation and emptiness. Here is the invitation to take up the Cross; here is St. Paul preaching Christ crucified and glorying in nothing save in the Cross of Christ; here are the Apostles going about glad to be accounted worthy to suffer for Christ. In the Christian dispensation, happiness and sanctity are found in accepting the Cross with Christ, bearing the Cross with Christ, falling under the Cross with Christ, getting up under the Cross with Christ, and going on in the knowl­edge that this is Christ’s cross-discouragement.

A man cannot deny his discouragement any more than he can deny his existence. It is part of his existence. All he can do is deny himself the luxury of discouragement; he can mortify his tendency to self-pity. By becoming Christ-centered instead of self-centered, a man re-orientates his perceptions so as no longer to see discouragement by the light of the world, or in its purely human context, but by the light of grace and in the setting of the Passion. If Christians lived out their lives in relation to the Passion — if their wills remained in proper harmony with God’s will — they would be incapable of expe­riencing more than the first stab of disappointment and would suffer only such pains as creation necessarily imposes. There would be no settled mood of disillusion, no dispirited pursuit of the second best, no trailing of despaired purposes, no ac­cepted exhaustions and wastes.

But because most people live in a lamentably distant relationship to Christ’s Passion, inevitably there must result a lingering malaise in their lives that drains away their irreplaceable resources. Failing to see their place in the suffering Body of Christ, they remain blind to the significance of their discouragements.

What, after all, are the grounds for human discouragement but experience of inadequacy and loss? A man is discouraged either because he looks back at the past and sees a sequence of misfortunes that has shaped for him a mold of failure, or be­cause he looks into the future and can see no security, happi­ness, or prospects of success. His experience of life has given him these findings, so he feels, understandably, that life is insupportable.

But if he knew more of Christ, he would know that he had misinterpreted his experience, and that life is not at all insup­portable. He would neither shy away from the thought of the past, nor stand dismayed by the thought of the future. The im­mediate present would not daunt him either: he would know that it could be related, together with the failures that have been and the horrors that are in store, to the Passion.

This is not to say that deliverance from disillusion, discouragement, and despair can be effected by a mere trick of the mind — the knack of referring our desolations automatically to God — but that, in the gradual and painful conversion of the soul from self-centeredness to God-centeredness, there will be a growing tendency toward confidence. No longer brought low by the sight of so much evil in ourselves, in oth­ers, and in the world, we rise by the slow deepening of detach­ment to the sight of a possible good in ourselves, in others, and in the world. The vision extends to a probable good, and then to a certain good. Together with this widening of a horizon, which reveals the positive where before only the negative was expected, goes the knowledge that the only good is God’s good, and that it exists on earth — as those who receive the Word made flesh exist on earth — not of the will of man, but of God.

In the measure that we allow our desolations to be transfig­ured by grace, so that they become part of Christ’s desolation, do we bring at the most significant level comfort to others who are desolate. “If you wish men to weep,” says Horace, “you must first weep yourself”: if we weep for the right reason, we shall prevent others from weeping for the wrong one. If we unite our sorrows with those of Christ, we not only sanctify our own souls, raising them above the discouragements of life, but also come to act as channels of grace to the souls of those for whom, like us, Christ fell and started up again on His way to Calvary.

Editor’s note: This article is from a chapter in Dom van Zeller’s Suffering: The Catholic Answer and is available from Sophia Institute Press. 

By

Dom Hubert van Zeller (1905–1984) lived a life of spiritual adventure and holy renunciation. He was born in Egypt when that nation was a British protectorate, and entered the Benedictine novitiate at age nineteen. His soul thirsted for an austere way of life; at one point he even left the Benedictines to enter a strict Carthusian monastery. However, he soon returned to the Benedictines. A talented sculptor as well as a writer, his artworks adorn churches in Britain and the United States

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  • Laura Y.

    Indeed. It is Jesus Christ – His Incarnation, Life, Passion and Resurrection that we must look to, lean on, learn from and become and it is through a life such as this that we are able to overcome – not necessarily eliminate – but overcome and work through discouragement, pain and loss. It is living this life of Christ that it all becomes meaningful and bears fruit. I am a Catholic Christian and I have always taken exception to the idea that we should be happy all the time, have a big smile on our faces and deny our pain. That is the life of a Stepford Wife, not of a human being. Jesus Christ is the fullness of humanity and He certainly did not behave in a robotic, stoic fashion. He cried, he became angry, grew frustrated, got tired – both physically and spiritually, and even felt despondent. Yet, He knew the Father and turned to Him in all of these moments. We are not meant to be superheroes nor to do it alone. We must, at all times, turn to Him if we are going to live Christian lives and to overcome evil. Remember, discouragement does not come from God – it comes from Satan. It is only through Jesus Christ that evil can be defeated. The saints are held up to us as role models and our elders in faith, but I think the Church does a disservice but not speaking sufficiently about the internal pains they went through. Tradition makes the saints out to be “gods” who are untouchable. While I admire them, I have difficulty getting close to them for this reason. They do not seem human. In fact, they seem more God-like than Jesus Himself! Blessed Teresa of Calcutta’s diary revealed her humanity and has furthered the cause of her sainthood. St. Therese of Lisieux, in her simplicity and quiet sufferings is another example of a human being who became saint. These 2 saints are fine examples, but we need more – and more from every day life if we are going to encourage each other. We need to share ourselves with each other with humility and honesty. This can be difficult in a society such as ours where we have a “Can do” attitude. While this is not bad in and of itself, it can block many from truly exercising the virtues. Thank you for posting this article. I think I will follow up by reading the book. God bless!

  • RichardB

    Hang in there Paul and take heart; depression and his henchmen, despondency and despair are skilled liars, convincing us “…there’s only one way to go: despondency.” Jesus’ agonizing lament, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” was said for the sake of the Jewish audience at the foot of his cross who would have readily recognized those words as the beginning of Psalm 22. Starting with despair, It continues with a prophetic description of Jesus’ suffering, but ends in triumph of God’s answer. “For God has not spurned or disdained the misery of this poor wretch, did not turn away from me, but heard me when I cried out.” And “the poor will eat their fill, those who seek the LORD will offer praise. May your hearts enjoy life forever!” May you have peace and blessings, and fight to choose hope in your circumstances. You are not alone.
    Richard Parsons, USA

  • noelfitz

    Thanks for a great article by Dom Hubert van Zeller OSB. Some time ago I submitted a post about Benedictines and their power and wealth, and felt a bit guilty. Now I see one from a Benedictine who was in Downside school where the annual fees are over $50000 per annum. Benedictines certainly seem to know how to charge.

  • newguy40

    Paul — On the cross, Christ allowed himself to feel the fullness of human suffering. We do not have a God who is far above us but one human who knew the complete measure of what we human beings experience.

    Even if God does not give us the comfort, consolation and presence we ask for does not mean that the prayers are not heard or without merit.

    I do not in any way intend to discount or lessen my appreciation for your suffering. But, pls remember Christ’s direction to “Pray always and without ceasing…” I can assure you that as a member of the Church Militant, the daily prayers and Mass are of benefit to you. I will add you to my next daily rosary.

    ++Ad Jesu Par Mariam++

  • Laura Y.

    Yes, Christ felt and experienced true despondency and despair for at the moment he uttered those words, God had turned His face away from Him for He had become sin itself – pure unadulterated sin – far more sin than you or I commit on our own, but that which is sin itself. This is something for us all to reflect on. The fact that our God took on our humanity in its fullness and suffered as we have – even more so – is the reason why for my re-version to the faith. Even so, I still have desire to return home, to pack it in and just disappear from time to time. I do feel abandoned, at times. Yet, it is Christ – His Passion and the Promise of salvation – that enables me to get back up on the horse for God has kept His promise to the Jews and then, in His mercy, did the same with the rest of us. My mother was a person who had very little joy and happiness in her life – nothing but pain, heartache and loss. Yet, it was Christ that got her through because He alone understands. God bless you, Paul.

  • tsk

    Our prayers (as we pray at mass and in our quiet times) go out to all the suffering…on this feast of St. Mary Magdalene…we ask God to cover your mind and heart…to pour His balm of Gilead over you… In my sufferings, I have prayed this verse: “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Every person on this earth is capable of letting us down at some time. As Christ forgave from the cross, so with His help and strength, He will help us forgive and help us carry our burdens, as in Matt. 11:28-30, which is one I have meditated in my darkest hours…God be with all of those who “seek first the kingdom of God…”

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