Last year, I wrote a post called, Keep Dating Your Wife, outlining some basic ways men can show their wives that they care for them. After sharing that post again recently, I received several requests to write a post with ways wives can bless their husbands. So here it is.
Honestly, I found this post more challenging to write, mostly because it seemed rather self-serving to write some of these things. Nevertheless, it is true that marriage is a partnership, and mutual self-giving is necessary for a happy marriage. Yes, it is true that marriages break down when men stop loving and serving their wives, but they are also harmed when women undermine and belittle their husbands. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango.
As I suggested in my post for husbands, a simple rule for a happy marriage is pretending you are still dating. What did you do then and why? In those days, you probably hoped to delight the man you have since married. Perhaps you wanted to be beautiful for him, to be worthy of his attention. You wanted to make him want to pursue you. So if you want to make your husband happy, do what you did then—win his heart all over again.
Here are 25 simple ways to show your husband you love him.
- Pray for him daily
- Empower him to lead
- Never, ever complain about him to your friends or family
- Say I’m sorry when you’re wrong
- Forgive him when he’s wrong
- Bake him something
- Let him go out with his friends
- Watch a “man” movie with him
- Express what you love about him
- Compliment more than criticize
- Don’t play emotional games, just be honest
- Appreciate his interests, don’t mock them
- Initiate in the bedroom occasionally
- Let him have time to himself
- Do your best to be attractive for him
- Make him breakfast (bacon!)
- Tell him you’re proud of him
- Backup his authority with the kids
- When he doubts himself, tell him “you can do it”
- Surprise him with something he likes
- Kiss him like you mean it
- Write him a love note
- Cultivate interior beauty (pursue holiness)
- Laugh and joke together
- Be appreciative and thank him when he helps
Marriage, in many ways, is not that complicated. A successful marriage begins and ends with the other person—with seeking their happiness, with giving yourself to them in countless acts of love and sacrifice. So many marriages fail because spouses start with their own happiness in view; because they see their husband or wife as a means to the end of self-fulfillment. The only way to be happy in marriage is to forget about yourself and to give unconditionally. Only when you lose yourself in this way will you find the happiness you seek.
Self-seeking makes for miserable marriages. Self-giving makes for happy marriages. Marriage is an investment. A long term investment. As a general rule, the more you give the more you will get. Of course there are tragic exceptions, but the point is, loving your spouse usually pays rich dividends in joy and mutual love. Selfishness, on the other hand, only leads to misery, anger, and self-defeat.
Wives, no matter what your marriage is like now, there was probably a time when you wanted to win your husband’s heart. Do you now? It means a lot to a man to know that he is wanted; to know that he is respected, admired, and loved. Seek to give life to your husband and delight him. Build him up instead of tearing him down.
This article is reprinted with permission from our friends at The Catholic Gentleman.
