I will never forget my first examinations in the seminary, Latin and Scriptures. They are not memorable because I excelled in them, but because I failed them woefully despite my best efforts. I was so discouraged with the results that I asked, “God, are you really calling me to be a priest?”
My question in desperation showed I had faith in my vocation but I lacked inner conviction. I lacked conviction because I believed more in my own performance and circumstances than on God calling me to the priesthood out of His love for me. In short, my faith was devoid of real conviction then because it was conditional. Our faith too lacks conviction when it is grounded on our condition, accomplishment, or performance in life, and not on what God is doing in our lives.
We see this convicted faith in the prophet Amos who traveled from his native Judah to the esteemed Bethel sanctuary in the northern kingdom of Israel to prophesy the conquest of Israel. He understandably drew the ire of the Bethel high priest who dismissed him after accusing him of prophesying for material gain. Amos did not question or doubt his vocation because of this expulsion and insult. His conviction about his vocation was not based on his ability, experience, performance, or his choice of vocation. All his conviction was based on faith on what God has done, “I was no prophet, nor have I belonged to a company of prophets; I was a shepherd and a dresser of sycamores. The Lord took me from following the flock, and said to me, Go, prophesy to my people Israel.” (Amos 7:15) Nothing makes him doubt or question his vocation as one called and missioned by God.
We also need a convicted faith to be on mission for Christ. This means that we cannot settle for a notional or conceptual faith that is unconnected to a living faith in what God has done for us in Jesus Christ and the power of His resurrection for us who believe in Him today. For our faith to be convicted, our faith in what God has done for us must be constant, no matter our performance, the conditions of our lives, the consequences, or acceptability of such faith.
We are told that the Twelve were faithful and fruitful in their mission, “The Twelve drove out many demons, and they anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.” How could these weak, uneducated, scared men cast out demons and cure the sick? Simple: they had a convicted faith that was grounded in what Jesus had done in their lives. They had faith that Jesus had called them, given them a share in His own power to expel demons and cure the sick, and then sent them out in groups, “Jesus summoned the Twelve and began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over unclean spirits (Mk 6:7,13) Their faith was not based on their abilities, experience, acceptance by others or being listened to.
One clear sign that we lack this convicted faith today is that we fail woefully to invite others to repentance just like the Twelve did, “So they went off and preached repentance.” (Mk 6:12) This bold invitation to everyone to repent is the very first sign of their convicted faith. What about us today? We are more focused on being tolerant and accepting of everything, including heresy and scandal. In a false sense of brotherhood, we speak of dialogue in which we hide or even deny the person of Jesus Christ as the one and only Savior of the world and the only way to the Father. We emphasize inclusivity and consensus that basically excludes God and rejects His unchanging and unchangeable truth and commandments. We speak of a vague discernment while rejecting the Ten Commandments. We talk about accompaniment that does not specify the actual direction of the accompaniment i.e., towards heaven or hell.
The bottom line is that the very first step to a convicted faith is a true and deep repentance from our sins and turning back to God. Authentic repentance leads us back to life in Christ and allows us to share in the inner conviction that Jesus had as the one and only Son of God who was sent on a self-sacrificing mission for us. We cannot have a convicted faith without faith in what God has done for us in Jesus Christ and a willingness to participate in Christ’s own conviction as one who is sent by our loving God. The first step into that faith is repentance.
In short, without such a faith in what God has done for us in Christ, we cannot have any spiritual blessing at all, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world.” In Him, we are “destined for adoption to Himself” and we also have “redemption by His blood, the forgiveness of sins.” (Eph 1:3,5,7) Since the blood has been shed for us, we have no reason not to repent and proclaim this repentance to others.
My dear brothers and sisters, we have a permanent vocation to the mission for Christ’s sake from the moment of our baptism. Our world is fast turning away from the path of God and is growing more and more calloused to the demands of the Gospel. We see in our Church too the missing conviction needed to call others to repentance and present clearly the truths of the faith. Lacking any inner conviction, we cowardly give Holy Communion to adulterers and baby killers while harping about the environment and racism. Instead of lovingly and passionately calling our brothers and sisters back from the throes of homosexual relationships, we keep our lips shut because we are afraid of being called bigots and homophobes or we give tacit approvals. We see many people with merely notional and conditional faith abandoning the Church too because of all these scandals and challenges within and outside the Church. We also examine ourselves and feel that we are too sinful and broken to call others to repentance with conviction.
All these can lead us to cry out to Jesus, “Lord, are you still calling me to be on mission in our world today and in a Church that is in tatters and confusion morally and dogmatically?” His answer to us is the same in each age, “Yes, I am still calling you to be on mission.” His calling us to mission is unconditional and does not depend on our situation and performance; so, we too must respond and be on mission with a convicted faith.
Let us cultivate such a convicted faith today, beginning with repentance as we encounter that blood that was shed for our sins in this Eucharist. Our faith should neither be conditional nor calculating of the possible consequences of believing. Look at a crucifix today with love and believe in what God has done for us and is doing for us in Christ today. No matter the conditions of our lives or the consequences of believing, let us believe that God is calling us out of His love for us now. Out of His love for us He is giving us what we need for faithful mission now. Out of love for us He is forgiving us now and making us holy. Out of love for us He is sending on mission to His own people as His convicted disciples. lastly, out of love for us He is sharing with us His own inner conviction.
If we believe all these and embrace a life of continuous repentance, we will have a convicted faith and we will be on mission faithfully all the days of our lives, and our mission will surely be fruitful.
Glory to Jesus!!! Honor to Mary!!!
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Photo by Michal Matlon on Unsplash
