by Jonathan Hunter-Kilmer
I'm so afraid
of nothing
looming in the afternoon
another job will start today
You've given me a boon
I almost always feel
somewhat
more useful when there's pay
and then depression
for a time
floats off
is swept away
but always
when I look ahead
to starting something new
this nagging, nasty sense of dread
comes creeping, slimey, through
and coats my thoughts with icky things
a mix of blood and sweat
and rust and dust that makes thick mud
because they are now wet
but You
will make them wetter still
washed clean with Your blood-sweat
and tears that flood and ruin any hint of dull regret
I hold Your cross
and hands
in mine
the splinters stab my thought
and separate
initiate
the health that You have bought
with every precious drop You let
go
when You took our flesh
and every way Your spirit could
with ours uplift and mesh
and make my body Yours
as bread and wine turn me to You
as I did that night years ago
when in Your arms I flew
I'll work through this
today
again
a small cross
up I'll heave
and when You feel I've had enough
the shattered wood will leave
and I this mood
and then this planet
by Your grace one day
and now Your voice will carry me
as words for refuge stay
