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Dear Mr. Shea,
I really enjoy the daily Word of Encouragement that I receive every day via Catholic Exchange. Thank you for doing this, it truly is encouraging.
I am troubled with hypocrites. One hypocrite in particular at the moment, but in general they have popped up in abundance throughout my life. I know a person who goes to the daily Mass at least three times a week, goes to Eucharistic Adoration at least twice a week, goes to Sunday Mass and goes to confession every two weeks. But every time I have been in his company he tells dirty jokes, he says he would like to have a relationship with a woman (he dates a lot) but he can't give of himself (he says he has a hard time with sacrificial love), any woman acquaintance he comes across at church he jokes with about being his girlfriend, he is always saying “Praise Jesus” really loud, and says he “loves” everybody. But he seems to have quite a temper and gets easily annoyed with people. He is also very friendly with a number of priests and keeps company with them (goes out to eat, travels with them, etc).
I find this behavior insincere, confusing and disheartening. How could someone spend this amount of time and involvement in the church and have such inconsistent behavior? Am I being judgmental? His behavior seems to lack integrity. He pesters me with wanting to be my friend. I don't think this type of person makes for a good companion.
I'm looking for a little help. I went to talk with one of his priest friends and I was pushed away and told that this man I am speaking of has a “good heart.” His behavior doesn't seem to bother them.
If you have a moment to give me your opinion I would surely appreciate it.
Thank you and God bless,
Susan
Dear Susan,
We are all hypocrites. Especially every Christian. For we all pledge ourselves to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves, yet we are constantly breaking that promise.
Think of how much worse we would be if did not have the grace of God.
So do not be too harsh with this man. He may, for all we know, be struggling to overcome a background and an upbringing that could have made him much worse man than he is. The parable to keep in mind is this one:
Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the reckoning, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents; and as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, “Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” And out of pity for him the lord of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But that same servant, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat he said, “Pay what you owe.” So his fellow servant fell down and besought him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” He refused and went and put him in prison till he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you besought me; and should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” And in anger his lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (Mt 18:23-35)
Mark Shea
Senior Content Editor
Catholic Exchange
