From the February 13 Late Show with David Letterman. Copyright 2002 by Worldwide Pants, Inc.
10. Medal ceremony takes place before the event.
9. In the middle of your figure skating routine, you're run over by the Zamboni.
8. You see five heads in the four-man bobsled.
7. Instead of scores, the P.A. system announces bribes given to judges.
6. Event judged by former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay.
5. You hear the Child of Light wants you to take a dive or else.
4. You see six judges and a figure skater check into a Holiday Inn.
3. It's curling, and everyone knows curling is controlled by the mafia.
2. You lose to this… [old black and white video of a woman skating in a bird outfit].
1. For some reason, it's being promoted by Don King.
(This list courtesy of the Media Research Center.)
