From the Late Show with David Letterman, as read by crew members on the US Navy destroyer Thorne based in Norfolk, Virginia, the “Top Ten Reasons Why I Love America.”
Copyright 2002 by Worldwide Pants, Inc.
10. Even after 225 years, it still has that new-country smell.
(Operation Specialist, Ron Morris)
9. Some of our best presidents were American.
(Lieutenant Jr. Grade, Erica Munzinger)
8. You're never more than 200 feet from a Dunkin' Donuts.
(Fire Controlman 2nd Class, Nick Pavlinek)
7. Name one other country with an ex-wrestler for a governor.
(Gunner's Mate 1st Class, Paul Tialavea)
6. Years of scientific research have made it possible for us to have our eyeglasses ready in about an hour.
(Yeoman Seamen, Jeremiah Mason)
5. What other country has both a South Dakota and a North Dakota?
(Cryptologic Technician Maintenance 2nd Class, Jason Halvorsen)
4. If somebody ever teachers a chimp to drive a car, it'll probably be an American.
(Electronics Technician 1st Class, Shawn Goodwin)
3. The uniforms look d— good.
(Damage Controlman 2nd Class, James Laban)
2. None of our current or former leaders live in a cave.
(Gunner's Mate 3rd Class, Elijah Muse)
1. Where else could a geek like Letterman get his own show?
(Electronics Technician 3rd Class, Gregory Allen Davis II)
(This list courtesy of the Media Research Center.)
