10. “I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.”
9. “I have an answering machine in my car. It says, 'I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.'”
8. “I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
7. “My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
6. “I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!”
5. “While I was gone, somebody rearranged all the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was.”
4. “I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.”
3. “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”
2. “I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.”
1. “There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.”
(This list courtesy of Gilbert!, the Magazine of G.K. Chesterton.)
