15. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
14. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
12. A fool and his money are soon partying.
11. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
10. Death to all fanatics!
9. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
8. Half the people you know are below average.
7. You can tell it's a government facility if the employees take all the good parking places.
6. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
5. If beauty is truth why don't women go to the library to get their hair done?
4. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
3. How did a fool and his money get together to begin with?
2. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
1. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
(This list courtesy of Gilbert!, the Magazine of G.K. Chesterton.)