To Dream The Impossible Dream



A groundbreaking study commissioned by the Center for a New American Dream discovered something parents would have never guessed: Children nag.

According to the national survey, children aged 12 to 17 ask an average nine times for things they want until their parents finally give in. My four- and six-year-old average a whopping 17 nags before I buckle. (I've always said my kids are above average — now's there's proof.) Note: The national study had a margin of error of plus or minus three nags. My kids have never been minus a nag.

“Amazingly, more than ten percent of 12 to 13 year olds admit to asking their parents more than fifty times for products they've seen advertised,” the Center's study says. I don't doubt the veracity of this finding. My son once nagged me 171 times in a single breath for some food product with Bob the Builder on the box. Can we drive Dad crazy? Yes we can!

The financial findings are what really surprised me. The study says kids spent a record $155 billion of their own money in 2001. That's some allowance. Summer jobs must pay a lot more today than when I was a kid. No wonder the lemonade stand down the street charges $123,000 a glass. The warm six-ounce plastic cup is almost as expensive as a Grande Latte at Starbucks. The five-year-old proprietor told me he's franchising his “Lemonade Hut” concept and asked me if I “wanted in at the ground floor.”

You'd think kids would be satisfied with their own billions, but James McNeal, kids marketing expert, says children exerted enough pressure to influence more than $500 billion of their parents' purchases in 2000. Either there are a lot of successful, young negotiators out there or one kid talked his parents into buying him some very expensive stuff — like the Space Shuttle or a pair of designer sneakers. My kids influenced $19.95 of my purchases last year. I bought a case of duct tape to keep them in their beds at night — a very prudent investment.

The Center for a New American Dream provides some tips for decreasing the nag factor. For instance, they suggest parents establish limits on TV watching and keep the TV in a public area of the house. I disagree. Unlimited TV watching and keeping the set in a private part of the house have worked for our family and can work for yours, too. The private part of the house is the closet. Before placing the TV in the closet, set it to the Weather Channel and remove the channel button. Wait until your kids go in, slam the door shut and lock it.

The Center also suggests that parents make dinnertime special. Try to have a meal together with the whole family — even if it's only once or twice a week. I recommend a table for two right outside the closet where the kids are watching the seven-day forecast. Purchase Pop Tarts, cheese slices and other flat foods that slide easily under the door.

A quiet meal with the whole family. Now that's a New American Dream I can get excited about.

Copyright 2002, Timothy P. Bete

(Tim Bete is married with three children. He has nine combined years as a dad – 63 in dog years – which makes him an expert at answering the questions, “Are we there yet?” and “Why?” To subscribe to Tim's column or read more of his work, visit his website at www.timbete.com.)

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