This Kitchen Madonna has worked outside of the home more than she has worked full time in it. Years ago, I bought my own home with 10% down and good credit. But the day I got a $6,000 raise and an additional title, I felt intense sadness. There was no husband to share the news with and somehow it all felt hollow. And so I went out and bought myself a voluptuous luxury car. It didn’t make me feel better. I was just trying to give myself the intangible yet shiny things I’d rather have from a husband.
But I’ve also been a housewife. That is what I have enjoyed the most. I adored making myself and our home ready for my husband. But when I worked fulltime outside of the home and had to put on my game face and face the big bad world, I was never woman enough to really be receptive to a man because I had to act like a man and compete with men and supervise men.
When I was a housewife and waiting for a particular pick-up truck to come down the driveway, I often studied up on how to be a good wife. One of my favorite books is “Finding the Hero in Your Husband: Surrendering the Way God Intended” by Juliana Slattery. She writes “home can be either the safest or the most dangerous place for a man. Nowhere is he more at risk. A husband’s vulnerabilities provide the opportunity for a wife to either build or destroy his trust and confidence. Discovering the hero in your husband is a lifetime ambition. A wife’s subtle efforts to make a home a safe and encouraging place for him will, over time, make an extraordinary difference in the man he becomes.”
When I was a housewife, I became very aware what money means to the man when he is the sole breadwinner. Because a man’s work means far more to him than how much money he makes, if he feels he is unable to provide enough, then a man feels inadequate as a man. If we overspend, then they feel they have to work longer. Then we complain about not seeing them.
Perhaps the best thing we can do for them, maybe more than having perfectly manicured nails all the time, is to be content with what they provide. To do a great deal with what we have, to work hard while they are at work and yet take care of ourselves so that when they do come home, they find a wife beyond price, receptive and welcoming.
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” – Proverbs 14:1
