The Institution Formerly Known as Marriage

The Iowa Supreme Court recently proved that the critics of same-sex “marriage” are correct: we are not being urged to make marriage more inclusive, but to radically redefine the nature of marriage itself. With its decision, the Iowa Supreme Court covertly but profoundly changed the meaning of marriage. While marriage previously served public purposes of attaching mothers and fathers to their children and one another, now marriage merely serves as affirmation of adult feelings. The Court abolished the essential public purpose of marriage, and replaced it with a new understanding of marriage that is neither essential nor public. The Institution Formerly Known as Marriage will be an empty shell in Iowa. As the movement to redefine marriage spreads across the country, citizens should look to Iowa to see what this actually entails.

The essential purpose of marriage is to attach mothers and fathers to their children and to one another. Absent this purpose, we would not need marriage as a distinct social institution. Human beings are not born as rational autonomous actors, they are the immature products of sexual relations between a man and a woman, and they need the assistance of adults to survive. Marriage exists, in all times and places, to solve this social problem. If our offspring were born as adults, ready to live independently, or if we reproduced through some form of asexual process, we would not need anything like marriage.

Marriage also has a profoundly social purpose. Marriage creates its own small society consisting of mother, father, and children. That small social unit contributes to the larger society by creating a functioning future—the next generation. Everyone benefits from having a next generation that can sustain the society and keep its institutions going. Even when I personally am old, and even if I have not had any children myself, I benefit from the fact that younger people are building cars and houses, providing medical and legal care, starting new businesses, and running old ones.

In modern developed countries, the family also saves the state a lot of money by taking care of its own dependent young, rather than foisting that responsibility onto the taxpayers. Thus, the benefits of marriage go far beyond the benefits to the individual members of the family.

So, what did the Iowa Supreme Court have to say about the purposes of marriage? Did they view the requirement that marriage be between a man and a woman as a violation of the principle of equal protection? Indeed. As the Court argued, “Equal protection demands that laws treat alike all people who are ‘similarly situated with respect to the legitimate purposes of the law.’” If the Court can convince itself that the dual gender requirement bears no relationship to the State’s purpose in having a marriage statute in the first place, then that requirement violates the Equal Protection clause of the Iowa Constitution.

It should be evident that if the purpose of marriage is to attach mothers and fathers to their children and to one another, then the dual gender requirement is perfectly permissible. Same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples are not the same with respect to this purpose. The Court had to come up with a very limited understanding of the purposes of marriage in order to maintain that opposite-sex and same-sex couples are in fact similarly situated.


The Court enumerated several purposes directly. Marriage provides an institutional basis for defining relational rights and responsibilities; marriage allows people to pool their resources; marriage recognizes people’s commitments; marriage provides comfort and happiness; marriage is a status, not a contract.

But these reasons do not explain why we need marriage in particular. I have a relationship with my next-door neighbor. My family pools resources with other members of a boat club. I have commitments to my employees and business associates. A pet brings me comfort and happiness. We do not need the unique relationship called marriage for any of these purposes.

The Court alluded to several other possible purposes, without including them within its list of state purposes. “Therefore, with respect to the subject and the purposes of Iowa’s marriage laws, we find that the plaintiffs are similarly situated compared to heterosexual persons. Plaintiffs are in committed and loving relationships, many raising families, just like heterosexual couples. Moreover, official recognition of their status provides an institutional basis for defining their fundamental relational rights and responsibilities, just as it does for heterosexual couples.”

The Court does not seem to realize that if these purposes really exhaust the list of legitimate state purposes of marriage, then there is no reason to have marriage as a distinct legal structure in the first place. Moreover, these are all private purposes, not public purposes, of marriage.

The same-sex couples before the Court claim to be committed and to love each other. Why do we need marriage for that? I’m committed to my sister. I love my best friend. Are we second class citizens because we are not married to each other? There is no state purpose whatsoever to be served by my having some legal statement or affirmation attached to my love for my sister. Besides, who really wants the Court, or the state or anyone else saying that our love is important to the state? People’s feelings are none of the state’s business.

The Court seems to understand this, for it gently and subtly elides the key issue of marriage law when it goes on to say: “Society benefits, for example, from providing same-sex couples a stable framework within which to raise their children . . . just as it does when that framework is provided for opposite-sex couples.” But wait a minute: How in the world does a same-sex couple obtain a child that is “theirs?”

This is precisely the way in which same-sex couples differ from opposite-sex couples. No child is born from a homosexual union. A child born to one of them has another parent who has been quietly escorted into the lab or the backdoor, to make the conception possible. That person is quickly escorted right back out the door, before he can claim any parental rights, or the child can claim any relational rights. Some of us believe that these two people, the child and the opposite-sex parent, require and deserve some protection. But the Court of Iowa does not think them even worth mentioning.

The social purpose of marriage has always been to attach mothers and fathers to their children, and to each other. This universal social purpose does not even make it onto the Iowa Court’s short list. The reason should be obvious: opposite-sex couples and same-sex couples are not similarly situated with respect to that purpose of marriage. If the Court found that attaching children to their parents and parents to one another is a purpose of marriage, they would be unable to sustain their claim that man woman marriage violates the principle of equal protection under the law.

Society needs marriage because children have rights to care from their parents, rights which they can not defend on their own. Societies create marriage to pro-actively protect the legitimate entitlements of children, and to provide for the future of the society. According to the Supreme Court of Iowa, these provisions for children are no longer the purpose of marriage. We are left to guess as to how this truly essential public function will be performed, now that the Court has surreptitiously removed it from the list of marriage’s jobs.

Iowa is a relatively homogenous and prosperous state. This newly created lacuna in the purposes of the law may not harm Iowa much at first. But other states have more diversity of opinion and practice about socially acceptable behavior, as well as greater economic and social stresses on married life and childrearing. In those states, the cost of redefining marriage is likely to be more pronounced and immediate.

In sum, the Court has elevated the private, inessential purposes of marriage to the highest point in the hierarchy of values of marriage. Given this new understanding, neither the longevity of marriage, nor fidelity within marriage can remain as important values. By the time the opponents of conjugal marriage are finished with their redefinitions, marriage will be little more than a five-year renewable-term contract. The Institution Formerly Known as Marriage will be nothing but a couple of individuals, loosely stapled together by the state.

Advocates of natural marriage, as opposed to genderless marriage, believe that society needs marriage to be a child-centered, gender-based social institution. We have been arguing all along that same-sex “marriage” will be a gender-neutral institution, in which children are only a peripheral concern. When the Supreme Court of Iowa established same-sex “marriage” by judicial decree, they proved our point for us.

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  • Thank God we have in the Catholic Church the Sacrament of Marriage, necessarily between one man and one woman, for the consolation and perfection of the spouses and for the procreation and upbringing of children. The Church has the opportunity here to witness to true marriage. I worry, though, about what’s going to happen when the powers that be get around to attempting to force their definition of “marriage” on religious institutions, and the Catholic Church refuses to play along. Will priests be fined or go to jail? Another article on today’s CE talks about conscience protections being revoked for medical professionals; will the same happen for clergy? It’s pretty scary if you ask me.

  • elkabrikir

    Is this the Twilight Zone?

    Certainly “Christian Marriage” and Christian Purity will mark individuals as authentic followers of Christ in the 21st century as it did in the 1st Century. For, gender-neutral marriage is simply the opposite side of the “single motherhood” coin. Dan Quayle knew what Murphy Brown could only sneer at: Kids need moms and dads who are married to each other.

    The widespread practice of married Christians has born this rotted fruit.

    great article….

  • theshahids


    You said,

    “The widespread practice of married Christians has born this rotted fruit.”

    I believe that the root of this entire issue is the widespread acceptance and use of contraception. There is very little spiritual difference between heterosexual contraceptive intercourse and homosexual intercourse. As gross as that sounds, it’s true if you really stop to think about it.

    In our contraceptive society, therefore, there is really no rational argument against same-sex marriage. The author gets as close as can be gotten when he said, “the purpose of marriage is to attach mothers and fathers to their children and to one another.” That boils down to “unitive and procreative.” We, as a society, have essentially done away with the “procreative” aspect, except only at the express will and intent of parents. Unfortunately, one can argue that a trip to the sperm bank (for both the donor and receiver) is an expression of will and intent to be a parent. This pretty much opens the door to any gross distortion of marriage that you want. Want to marry two guys, or girls? How about 50? How about a young consenting minor? HOw about your dog, or cat, or horse? Go for it! It’s all within reach in Iowa and soon within our entire sick, contraceptive country.

    Lord, Please help us!

  • goral

    In my high school Latin class we had a habit of preceding our response to Mrs. Humphrey’s questions – I thought that ….
    Mrs. Humphrey would always respond; “don’t think, you’re not equipped to do that”
    Of course it was tongue-in-cheek but it happened to be true as far as her Latin class was concerned. Our thought process was flawed.

    By its very nature as a secular institution serving all citizens, the law is gender blind. Its legalistic process is flawed in the area of metaphysics. Laws which pretend to treat moral conscience like interstate commerce will ultimately convict God.
    Marriage and family are the very essence of the Trinity.
    What do the courts know about that? Nothing!

    We are allowing and asking a know-nothing legal system to set spiritual matters straight. It cannot!
    The double gated crusaders are legitimately enforcing their claim that there is discrimination present because there is, indeed for God’s sake there must be discrimination present. In the definition of marriage the Church and all right minded people discriminate.

    The back-to-front perverts know that an activist judiciary is their best friend. They stake their success in the courts and their flawed thinking. They will eventually own the word marriage. It will mean only same sex unions. The normal marriage will be called manage.
    We will manage to keep our family intact. We will manage raising our children.
    We will somehow manage to pay for all their perversions with our taxes and at the same time pay to protect our children from them.
    Then at some point we will not be able to manage it anymore and as Solzhenitsyn
    said, the whole cursed machine will come to a screeching halt.

  • elkabrikir

    the shahids,

    Thanks for catching my error….a baby was crawling on me and I lost my words in cyber-space! I left a key word out. The sentence SHOULD have read,
    “The widespread practice of contraception by married Christians has born this rotted fruit.”

    The Holy Spirit just showed me that my sentence became unintelligible because I eliminated my main point: contraceptive use is deadly to marriage. So, too, contraception use eliminates the end of conjugal love: procreation.

    to theshahids: on a personal note, one day you’ll get my Christmas Card!

  • Walker

    As the saying goes: the best defense is a good offense. We must celebrate, support, encourage, and celebrate again — all traditional male/female marriages. We must do everything we can to get the divorce rates in traditional marriages down. We have plenty of work to do here and it’s important not to lose sight of that. For a long time, many people have lost touch with the fact that marriage takes a great deal of work. With divorce rates as high as they are, is it any wonder why same sex marriages are being recognized in the courts?

    So all you marrieds — celebrate, support, encourage, and celebrate again! May the light of Christ shine forth in these man and wife unions – we don’t need the courts’ consent to do this.

  • lidiapurple

    The article is so right, yet I wish the author would have taken one paragraph to address what both theshahid and elkabrikir have mentioned. Contraception is most definitely the elephant sitting on the coffe table. I saved an article written about 5 years ago by a Christian Pastor who nailed this concept. It’s in the Wall Street Jornal opinion archives now. Well worth your time to read it.