The Family Love Dare Journal: Day Two — Love is Kind

[Editor’s note: The author explains her family’s Lenten commitment to take the Love Dare here . Regular updates will be posted all through Lent.  Click here to catch up on previous posts.]

The dare today could be summed up by a line in a popular Disney movie, “See a need, fill a need.”

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” — Eph. 4:32.

I thought today’s dare would be easy. As I mentioned yesterday, I have a few kids who naturally do what needs to be done…..not so today. It seemed like the harder we tried, the worse it got. The kids did report finding it easy to do things for others outside our home, but it was a tougher challenge to willingly do for each other in our home. Our youngest did a great job. He found the basket of mismatched socks and started matching them (a job I detest). I guess it’s true, a little child shall lead us.

My husband only asked me to do one task for him yesterday and I FORGOT! Ugh. I did rectify it as soon as I realized, but it shows how much harder this dare is then it seems.

Lord, help me to not only desire to fill my family’s needs, but to recognize them and act on that desire!

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  • Doris Rodriguez

    Was kindness one of the key things that drew you to your spouse in the first place? How I wish I could say “yes” to this question … but ours was the usual case of good girl meets bad boy who thinks she can change him. Our relationship was a rollercoaster ride the first 15 years of marriage.

    How do you think you rate on the kindness meter? I am a very kind person and will drop everything to do anything for those I love … and even perfect strangers, which is one of the things Ricky loves about me and hates at the same time. I think you could call me a professional volunteer who truly enjoys helping people, BUT I can be a real witch when things don’t go my way. Isn’t it funny how the only people who ever see that side of me is my husband and my kids, though? I am one of those people who can be blasting one of my kids for something one minute and answering the phone with a smile in my voice the next.

    How willing are you to accommodate those you love? I go out of my way to accommodate those I love but I often feel resentment when it isn’t appreciated or it appears to be taken for granted.

    How often do you take the initiative in showing your spouse that you truly love him or her? I do all kinds of little things to show Ricky that I love him, but I can undo it all with one stupid comment. Like last night: I cleaned the house, did the laundry, worked out in the yard, solved a major case problem with my job, did my volunteer work, helped with training two new hires at my husband’s place of business, ran errands, swept off the wrap-around porch and patio, cleaned the kitchen, and vacuumed the living room. In the hustle and bustle, I left a pile of clean sheets on the kitchen table and that is what he commented negatively on when he walked in the door. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and asked him why he had to focus on the one thing I didn’t do rather than the hundred things I did do. He tried to make it up to me at that point and I let him, but I still felt frustrated with him deep in my heart. Why is loving unconditionally so hard? Why is it so hard for me to just ignore his comments?

    What discoveries did you make about love today? Well, after 28 years of marriage, the whole love thing does get easier but I am still amazed that we made it through the first fifteen years. LOL As far as discovering something new goes, I think it would have to be that I have the ability through “love” to ignore or respond rather than react, and I really need to work on this aspect of love. Looking back, I can see where my reactions to situations has helped ignite the bombs in our relationship. My tendency, of course, is to say “that’s not fair” … but I’m learning that love isn’t about fair … it’s all about love.