Thanksgiving in the Buff

This year we're going naked for Thanksgiving. I think my two-year-old has the right idea. Lately he has taken to walking around with just his Nemo sandals on. That's all he wants to wear. I hardly have the energy to make him wear a little shirt and tie and dress slacks.

Besides, we live in California and it's been eighty degrees for the past three days. We don't know whether to put out our inflatable snowman or the inflatable swimming pool.

You should see our turkey this year. It's a real hybrid. There are nine wings and necks (for the cats) and five drumsticks (for the kids).

It's a good thing that we aren't expecting anyone to join us in the celebration this year either. It takes guts to sit buck-naked at the table and keep your eyes on the melting Jell-O salad.

I asked the kids what sides they wanted to go with the turkey. Corn-on-the-cob is certainly something Squanto and the pilgrims might have eaten, but watermelon? I think the unusual weather has gone to all the kids' heads.

You can't really blame them. It's beginning to look a lot like suntans, not Thanksgiving or Christmas.

However, my husband is from Australia. This is perfectly okay with him. In Australia, Santa surfs when he comes to town. There's no such thing as a white Christmas.

At this time of the year it's more traditional for him to be eating barbeques, with cold salads instead of hot sides. But, if you are going to do it naked, you really want to be wearing an apron — sizzling fat from the barbeque can put a real damper on your holiday spirit, if you know what I mean.

That's why I've got to get to the local store and pick up all the French Maid costumes leftover from Halloween. They're 75% off now. Of course, the two-year-old won't shed this costume. He's got a thing for frills.

I can just picture the looks on the faces of family and friends when they receive this year's Christmas card photo. It's so difficult to find a greeting card that really stands out. Homemade is always the best. This one will be talked about for years to come. Especially since it's of us sitting on the sofa in mini-skirts with my husband front and center. On second thought, maybe we shouldn't send one to Grandma this year.

The moral of the story is this. Don't be afraid to try new things and start new traditions. You never know which will become a keeper. Have lots of fun. Bon apetit!

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  • Guest


    Maybe I’m missing the point of the article, but it seems like the author has missed the point of the holidays. I didn’t know the point was to “start new traditions…you never know which will become a keeper” and “have lots of fun.”

    Has the author considered why Thanksgiving is a holiday set aside to give thanks to God for our blessings, and that Christmas is for celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus?

    Since this is a “Parenting and Family” article, how about teaching the children why we have Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    I have no idea why this article is on catholicexchange. It’s completely secular. Is it supposed to be humor?

  • Guest

    If anything recommends and cautions about family, it is the unpredictability of pre-reason children. They are just adorably wacky! And, I think that of humor and mutual reflection in memories, this article also gives a slant that says that when Christ demanded that the children be permitted to come to Him, at least one child, and probably a little boy – girls like clothes – had dumped his clothes somewhere, to his Mom’s despair.

    This Mom, Mrs. Barker, says that even the frivolity of nudity that is of a child’s view can have a touch of ‘tradition’ as well as fun. The specific ‘traditon’ need last no more than the one year. The real tradition is that their family celebrate together of holidays, feasts and just being family.

    In a few words: “Got a family? Get naked your own way.”

    I remain your obedient servant, but God’s first,

    Pristinus Sapienter

    (wljewell or …

  • Guest

    We have eight children. Yes, two-year-old boys do run around naked more than any other demographic, but still.

    I don’t understand the author’s delight in, as examples, having no guests for the holidays and her suggestion of a French maid’s outfit for her husband to wear while grilling.

    Too weird.