Deut 34:1-12 / Mt 18:15-20
Conflict seems to be an inescapable part of human life. Try as we may, we don’t have the option of avoiding conflicts — they just show up all on their own, sometimes involving our dearest friends and family. So we have to learn how to resolve them. We have to become experts at reconciliation, just like Jesus.
First of all, Jesus says, take the initiative, even if you didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t sit around sulking in silence, or telling everybody else except him or her why you’re angry or hurt. Sulking and gossiping is about vengeance, not healing.
Seek out the person who hurt you and name your hurt, spell out your grievance, and make it clear that you are willing and ready to forgive, if he or she is ready to receive forgiveness, which of course, involves a change of heart. That kind of offer can sometimes change the hardest of hearts. Will we ever forget Pope John Paul’s visit to the prison cell of his attempted assassin? And yet so often WE cling to the tiniest of grievances.
Sometimes, of course, one visit won’t do it, so Jesus recommends taking along a friend and trying again. If that has no effect, don’t give up. Take it to the church community, and if even that fails, Jesus says, treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. Not so fast, now. That’s not a license to kill but an invitation to remember how would Jesus treat any sinner who’s stuck in his ways: not as enemies, but just folks who are still walking in the dark and haven’t been able to find their way into the light yet. There’s the formula: patience, prayer, and a heart that stays ready to forgive.
Reconciliation has its own pace, which is sometimes very slow. But if our hearts stay peaceful, open and ready to forgive, peace and reconciliation will almost always come. So be at peace and keep your heart ready.
