15. Follow that car, Godzilla–and step on it!
14. Dinner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
13. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
12. My idea of housework is to give the room a sweeping glance.
11. If Fairchild Electronics merged with Honeywell Computers, would the new company be called Fairwell Honeychild?
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
9. “Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes!”
8. I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.
7. Junk. What you throw away three weeks before you need it.
6. ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
5. Pi R squared? No, Pi R round. Cornbread R squared.
4. I used to be clueless about math, but I turned that around 360 degrees.
3. I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'm going to forget.
2. I read a whole book about anti-gravity. I just couldn't put it down.
1. Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
(This list courtesy of Gilbert!, The Magazine of G.K. Chesterton.)
