Something For Nothing

It used to be true that nothing in life was for free. That is, until was born.

The idea is to exchange items you no longer want and need with others (and vice versa)-for free! You select a group of people in your area, sign up to be on their email list, and then you post the things you have to give away, while simultaneously sifting through your email for someone else’s junk that you view as treasure.

It sounded like a good idea to me so I joined my local group. And, honest to God, I found something to write about in my column. Somebody actually posted long underwear to give away and somebody else snatched it right up.

Seriously, how desperate do you have to be to snatch up somebody’s underwear?

I’m assuming it was clean, never-before-worn underwear, but even so, do you really want to chance it?

I’ve seen the underwear in our house that is no longer worth owning. I couldn’t even pay someone to take it. And is there any such thing as mildly worn underwear? Is there a special scale for classifying worn underwear? Do I really want to know?

It just goes to show you that some people are desperate to clean out their drawers (ahem) even if it means giving away their unmentionables.

So I thought about my own family and what lingers in their drawers. I’ve got a daughter with a nice collection of used Kleenex. And there are candy wrappers in somebody else’s drawers. My husband is the king of single socks. Should I give those away? Maybe there is a one-legged man out there looking for such a deal.

My own drawers are full of teeth. The tooth fairy didn’t have room at her place so I’ve been stashing kids’ teeth in my drawers for over ten years. That adds up! Maybe somebody out there wants to use them in some sort of craft or perhaps decorate picture frames or make a mosaic. Who knows?

Once I heard of a woman who collected lint from people’s dryers to craft into candy dishes and candleholders. What a perfect gift for the person on the bottom of your gift list, right? Sure, it’s nicely painted, hard and durable when finished, but what is in the mind of a person using the main ingredient? “Hi, I made you a candy dish with my underwear lint.”

The idea of getting something for nothing intrigues me and tempts me to prove an old pearl of wisdom wrong. I’m thinking of posting a sandwich, chips, cookies, a piece of fruit and a soda. Who says there’s no such thing as a free lunch?

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