In our technologically-driven society, authentic relationships are seldom formed, nurtured, or maintained. It seems that most of us use the excuse of busyness as to why we rarely invest quality time with family, friends, and neighbors, and this quite possibly might be a foundational reason for our detachment from tragedies that do not occur close in proximity to us. We’ve effectively disconnected any potential for empathy and compassion to be expressed to those who are suffering most, especially when senseless shootings occur (as happened recently in Oregon). What, then, is the response most conducive to mercy and charity?
Mercy and charity are like spouses, because one does not tend to exist in full without the other. Charity is our affective reaction to suffering (e.g., how we feel), while mercy is our effective response (that which propels us into action). Let’s be clear about one thing: Suffering does not exist apart from us in some remote town or village. Suffering is an essential aspect of the human condition, of which we all are a part, and therefore, we are all participants in and recipients of the effects of tragedy all over the world.
This is why social sin affects us just as much as personal sin does. There is solidarity in suffering. When I experience loss, the people closest to me feel it similarly. When the Earth groans from natural disasters or careless waste, all of us reap the consequences in negative ways. So when a tragedy strikes, such as a massive, unexpected shooting in a community “somewhere other than here,” we may be inclined to dismiss it with apathy or superficial concern. The real, substantive problem is a severe lack of mercy and love. That seems to be the true tragedy.
What’s possible for us to do when tragedy strikes thousands of miles away? Most of us may offer a quick, silent prayer or share a meme on social media asking for “positive thoughts” sent in the direction of disaster or trauma. Is this enough, or is this merely another avenue of detachment that we have opted to participate in?
Prayer is certainly never lost upon the ears and heart of Our Merciful Father in Heaven. And it’s true that most of us find it impossible to leave our homes, jobs, and families in order to be on the scene of a national tragedy or natural disaster. Practically speaking, this may not be how God is calling us to respond, but some of us (a minority) may be asked to volunteer with the Red Cross or some other similar organization. Most of us, however, are called to do something on a smaller, more local scale.
If our hearts are truly moved by charity due to the sins of oppression, murder, and senseless acts of violence, then we necessarily desire to do something about it. Each of us is called to change the world in some way, and for most of us that means in small acts of love. We begin in our homes and with our families, and we extend those acts of love to our neighborhoods, schools, and wider communities. It seems possible that, for a magnanimous heart that is truly open to wherever the Holy Spirit leads, greater change can occur on a state, national or international level through that person’s response.
Responding to tragedy from a distance looks different for each of us, because we all have varying spiritual charisms and calls. But the unitive call is a call to relationship, which must be paramount if we intend for the world to be transformed by and through love. And relationship includes authentic encounters with those God has placed in our lives, which means that we must be intentional every day in the way we interact with everyone we meet. For a person who listens with his or her heart, authentic encounter would mean being fully present to the one who just called us on the phone, rang our doorbell, or stopped us along our walk to the post office.
This is how we respond to suffering and tragedy, which may seem unimportant and unimpressive. It’s true that most of us already know that suffering must become personal to us on a daily basis, and yet we tend to circumvent it when we are given an opportunity to be present to another person. It’s too uncomfortable when we are carrying our own burdens. It’s awkward. It’s painful…as it should be.
If we do not feel pain for another person’s loss or for torrential global tragedies, then we do not know what it means to fully love. Love is activated through human interaction, including touch, eye contact, and a heart that is present to simply be with someone who is deeply suffering. In turn, love moves us from a place of comfort and indifference to a place of longing to heal and encourage.
The world is healed through our hands, our hearts, and our prayers. It’s easy to convince ourselves that one conversation, one prayer, one hug, or one smile does not matter much in the grand scheme of global disaster and ubiquitous trends of senseless violence. But that’s how the enemy snags us away from personal encounter in relationships, and over time our culture and our world is eroded by the effects of sin gone unchecked in individual souls. The truth is that our call – today – is to love from the inside out, every day, in ways both invisible and notable.
When we love from the inside out, we begin by listening to our family members, which in turn engages them to love others. Then we go forth from our homes and reach the outliers in our neighborhoods, and they are transformed by encountering love through us. We must believe that small acts of charity truly and deeply matter, or it will soon become zeal grown slack in fervor and ardor.
I was both humbled and stupefied when a woman from our parish whom I had only spoken with once over a year ago approached me with a long, handwritten letter. When I read it, I couldn’t believe she had remembered – with great detail – a conversation I had brushed off as merely courtesy. Because of that brief encounter, she felt loved and then realized her personal call to discipleship by volunteering in a leadership position for a women’s retreat at our parish (which is something she said she would have never done before).
These encounters happen all the time, and they begin with you and me. I think God purposefully prevents us from knowing the effects of such encounters on a regular basis for the sake of humility and trust in Him. But when we do catch a glimpse of the power of His grace – formed from within us and extended to a hurting and desperate world – we may begin to truly regain a thriving hope that we truly can bring about tremendous change through the acts of love to which we are called every day.
Begin today. Encourage someone when they share with you that they are feeling down. Smile at the person who looks weary, wary, and haggard. Call your neighbor by name when you walk past his or her house. Kiss your children. Compliment your spouse. Sit with the convalescing. Write a note to someone who comes to your mind and lives far away from you. These are all examples of small stepping stones of love and light that bring about healing to a broken world rife with evil, sin, and tragedy.
