by Stacey Johnson
I’ll admit it. I’m a control freak. I like things to be my way. I am trying to be more flexible, but it’s hard. I don’t even like to let my husband load the dishwasher, because he does it wrong. (My method is more efficient and gets more dishes in.)
Recently, I went on a field trip with my fellow Catholic homeschoolers. We drove to a museum that is roughly three hours away, in a city that I’ve never visited before. I didn’t know the way there, except that it was generally west and that we’d be taking a certain interstate most of the way. I didn’t have a map with me, either, which was, from the perspective of my comfort, a mistake. You see, being the way that I am, I like to know where I am headed and how I am going to get there. I also like to have a back-up in case the person in charge gets us lost. So, with no map and no directions, I had to just follow the person who was leading us there. This was a serious exercise in trust.
Which got me thinking. I often would like God to give me the five-year plan. (Or even longer, if He was willing, but it doesn’t seem that it works that way.) I would love to know what He has planned for me and where He is leading me. But if often seems that He prefers us to trust that He knows what He is doing. Our job is to simply follow where He leads. For a control freak like me, that is tough. On the other hand, who is more worthy of my trust? Nobody, of course. I know that, but it doesn’t make it easy. I want to know what the plan is, even though I’m pretty sure it’s a good one. Sometimes, He gives us a glimpse of the plan, but sometimes not. I think that it’s quite likely that people who feel less strongly about being in control get more information about what God has in store for them. The rest of us, however, are being trained. Trust Me, He says. He reminds us, “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?” (Matt. 6:26-27).
So now, when that desire to be totally in control of everything rears its ugly head, I try to remember that God is The One Who Is In Control, not me. I don’t need to be in charge of the map when the Mapmaker is in charge of everything. He’s not going to get anybody lost, if they are willing to follow where He leads. Even when I thought that I was in control, that was an illusion. And when I’m having a really tough time with this concept, I look up at the picture of the Divine Mercy on my wall and commit the words to heart: “Jesus, I trust in You.” It doesn’t get any simpler than that.
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