“I was 21 and not married. Abortion wasn't like this big controversy. It was a couple of years before it became legal, and I didn't really think about it. I did it and went on with my life.”
“Jill” — she requested her real name not be used as a condition of granting this interview — was unaware that, years later, the abortion would begin to trouble her.
“When my first daughter was born,” she related, “I thought, 'Oh my God, what have I done?'”
Overwhelmed, she contacted Rachel's Vineyard, an organization that provides weekend retreats for women and men struggling with the emotional or spiritual pain of an abortion. Time away from daily pressures provides focus on that time in life through a supportive and non-judgmental process.
Dr. Theresa Burke, a psychologist from Pennsylvania, developed the retreat after noticing many of her patients suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and addiction. Burke assessed a common denominator: many had been involved with an abortion, both men and women.
Jill noted, “In the political realm the woman has the right to choose what to do with her body, but everyone has suffering after an abortion. People may think that it is not right to do some things, but they should know abortion is on a much larger scale than right and wrong. Many years down the road the effects can be painful.”
Burke published her book, Rachel's Vineyard: A Psychological and Spiritual Journey for Post Abortion Healing, in 1994. In 1997, with her husband Kevin she established the program as a non-profit organization.
There are 45 different counseling teams throughout the United States, Portugal, Australia, and New Zealand dedicated to providing support and healing to those dealing with the effects of abortion. Burke has lectured and trained professionals nationally on the subject of post abortion trauma and healing.
The retreat takes its name from the Biblical Book of Jeremiah, 31:15-17: “In Rahma is heard the sound of moaning, of bitter weeping! Rachel mourns her children; she refuses to be consoled because her children are no more. Thus says the Lord: Cease your cries of mourning. Wipe the tears from your eyes. The sorrow you have shown shall have its reward. There is hope for your future.”
When Jill first saw an advertisement for the retreat, she said that it both startled and comforted her.
“I thought, 'Do I? Should I?' It was like a call to my heart, to help me with feelings from the abortion that I had to answer.”
“When women call, they are originally comfortable over the phone,” Warner said. “But come Friday [of the retreat], they are not sure what to expect.
They are anxious, timid, and shy. Like with any retreat, they can be awkward with each other at first.”
As the weekend progresses, however, the participants form a support system.
“There are many emotions that the women go through,” Warner said. “On Saturday morning the team sheds its skin. Come Saturday afternoon, the atmosphere is lighter. It's a gentle time when they have begun to envision their children with Jesus in peace and joy.”
Jill noted, “We were all embraced with love the whole weekend. Being able to be honest, to express, talk about, question, and process things. A psychotherapist does not have the same effect. We are dealing with something bigger than psychological. The feeling that a mother has destroyed a child, it is between you and God. It's beyond psychological. It's spiritual and I had to deal with it on that level.”
The retreat offers a variety of activities during the weekend to encourage healing and peace, including living Scripture passages, praying, readings, and a Mass of Resurrection. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is also offered to participants.
“The hardest person to forgive is ourselves,” Jill said. “On the retreat you listen to other stories, see good, kind, wonderful people. Their compassion leads to compassion for ourselves.”
To find a post-abortion program in your area, see the Help After Abortion section of the Rachel's Vineyard website.
(This article courtesy of Steven Ertelt and the Pro-Life Infonet email newsletter. For more information or to subscribe go to www.prolifeinfo.org or email infonet@prolifeinfo.org.)
See also:
'Baby M' Lawyer Files Case With U.S. Supreme Court Challenging Legal Premise of Roe v. Wade
Operation Rescue to Confront the Church in Tulsa with its Failure to Protect Unborn Children
