Dear Catholic Exchange:
Our next door neighbors are a lesbian couple, with two children. They are friendly people who go out of their way to greet us and have conversations with us. We are raising our own family and have clearly told our children that this lifestyle is a sin but, we need to treat all people with dignity. You know, love the sinner, hate the sin. I feel increasingly uncomfortable about this situation and I am wondering if we are handling it in the correct way. I sometimes feel that by being friendly to them is showing my children that we condone this. Do you have any suggestion on handling this? Thank you very much!
Dear Friend,
Peace in Christ!
Thank you for your question regarding your homosexual neighbors and your interaction with them. You said that you have explained to your children that the homosexual lifestyle is sinful, but that all people should be treated with dignity. This is consistent with Catholic teaching.
You also said that you are concerned that your friendly interaction with the neighbors will communicate to your children that you condone homosexual behavior. As long as you have clearly explained to your children that homosexual behavior is sinful, I don’t think this will be a problem. You didn’t mention the ages of your children or whether they had questioned why you interact with the neighbors on such a friendly level, but if they perceive some kind of inconsistency they will probably bring it up, giving you a chance to clear up any misconceptions. If they ask why you are friendly towards the neighbors if you believe their lifestyle is wrong, explain that you are acting as Jesus did. He condemned sin but never stopped loving the sinner. He still chose tax collectors and prostitutes as his close friends and companions. If we want people to repent of their sin, we must show them the love of Christ. In the meantime, by continuing to live your faith in all aspects of your life and grounding your children in the teachings of the Church, you are providing them with the foundation they need and serving as a witness to your neighbors.
Another issue to consider is your neighbor’s behavior in front of you and your children. Do they behave chastely in public? If not, you may need to approach them about your discomfort with public displays of affection. You and your husband may want to establish some lines or boundaries that you are comfortable with as a family. Depending upon the ages of their children and your own children, you may need to decide how you will handle requests to play at their house, or requests to invite their children over to play. Eventually, you may be placed in the situation of having to explain to the neighbors why you have certain boundaries, so it may be wise to think about how you will handle this ahead of time.
The exact level of interaction you and your husband are comfortable with is a personal, family decision. There is nothing wrong with exchanging pleasant conversation with your neighbors. We are all sinners, and I would not want others to stop speaking to me because of my sins. On the other hand, I wouldn’t expect you to chat casually with me while I stole something in the grocery store. Likewise, polite exchanges with the neighbors are perfectly morally acceptable, but you don’t have to condone public displays of affection or other sinful behavior.
United in the Faith,
Julia Zahra
Information Specialist
Catholics United for the Faith
827 North Fourth Street
Steubenville, OH 43952
800-MY-FAITH (800-693-2484)
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