By Marcie Stokman
“Lord save us, we are perishing!” the disciples cried, convinced they were sinking in the storm with our Lord asleep in the boat. The Lord’s reprimand was not, “Where are your sailing skills? Where is your discipline and character? You need to get more organized on this boat!” No, instead it was “Where is your faith?” He was looking for confidence.
As home school moms we too are in a boat, not on Lake Tiberias but right inside our homes. Sometimes a true storm hits, but most days it’s not an emergency–only the everyday wind and waves that can cause us to loose hope. Right from the start things don’t go as planned. The toddler falls off the chair. Oatmeal is boiling over. Why aren’t the kid’s chores done? Wave number one… breakfast and chores, then a short reprieve before the next wave…school.
Sometimes I’m tempted to pray, “Lord, I am sinking” but now I see that to pray with confidence is to say, “With you Lord, I CANNOT sink. You are here with us. With all my will I will trust in you in the midst of these waves. I will be confident in you.”
When St. Therese of Lisieux wrote to Mother Marie, “I have always wanted to be a saint,” she echoed the true longing of every human heart, to be wholly His. Yet, when we see our failings again and again, we can begin to think sanctity is impossible for ordinary folks. St. Therese understood this discrepancy too. At one point she compared the vast chasm between sainthood and her present life to “a mountain summit and an obscure grain of sand trampled by the passers by.” But rather than see sanctity as impossible, or distract herself with a less worthy goal, she said, “God cannot inspire unrealizable desires, I can then in spite of my littleness aspire to holiness.”
Confidence, she excelled in confidence! Not in herself, but in the mercy of God. St. Therese knew the work of sanctification was the Lord’s and so she accepted God’s will in her life on His terms. This meant that every wave that came along was a potential gift for her soul. She knew the secret of sailing through the most raging storms. Confidence!
“You may truly say,” she spoke to Mother Agnes shortly before her death “that if I had committed all possible crimes, I would still have the same confidence, I would feel that this multitude of offenses would be like a drop of water thrown into a flaming furnace.” Now that is unshakeable, abandoned confidence in mercy!
St. Therese pray for us that we, like you, might not panic in the waves and storms but instead see them as gifts for our heart’s deepest longing. May we accept the ordinary events offered to us … explaining fractions one more time, a tired toddler, getting “who knows what,” on the table for supper, as waves of opportunity for the polishing of our souls and pray as you prayed, “My God, I choose all. I don’t want to be a saint by halves. I choose all.”
Marcie Stokman is a stay-at-home mother of six. She presents workshops and writes to encourage parents in the process of training and educating their children. She can be reached at marciestokman@hotmail.com.
