by Mary Gaida
He didn’t want to be there. They sat in back. His arms were folded stiffly across his chest and he looked straight ahead. I wondered what prayer or plea or promise got him to our natural family planning class.
Was she the young woman I’d talked to on the phone several weeks ago? She’d had three pregnancies in rapid succession and was afraid of the birth control pill her doctor was recommending. Her husband did not want to attend classes. He felt it was a “female thing.” But, she insisted (not wanting to give the wrong impression) he was a good, loving husband and father. Periodic abstinence certainly wasn’t the problem; their “family planning” dilemma had inflicted its own lengthy period of abstinence during their months of indecision.
I wondered, as he stoically looked at us with unblinking eyes, if he saw the look of excitement in his wife’s face as she listened to our presentation. Did he see the relief and hope in her eyes? He disappeared immediately after class. Mike and I were pretty sure he wouldn’t be back the next month. Yet they were again in the back row for class two. His arms were still folded but when she whispered to him, he looked at her and nodded every so slightly. He was still the first person out the door after class. She waited patiently to speak to us and showed us her perfectly completed chart.
Meeting #3 found them in the front row. Now he held the book and pencil as, heads together, they worked over the charts. We asked for a volunteer to interpret the first chart and his hand resolutely sprang upward. A difficult chart; a perfect interpretation. She sat quietly, her head tipped slightly, and proudly listened as he answered our questions. I wondered again if he saw what was so evident to us: a look of love and trust in her eyes.
I wondered if this husband understood what NFP would bring him. Did he realize how proud his wife will be to have a husband who refuses to abdicate responsibility for family planning? Did he know how relieved she will be to not worry about the health risks of contraception? Did he know how much it meant for them to be in conformation with the teachings of their church? Did he know how deeply she’ll respect him for putting her welfare above sexual gratification?
The young couple returned for the fourth class. They now seemed relaxed and confident. He exuded a new maturity as he stood with her after class and asked a couple of questions regarding her chart. We were excited for them, because NFP is just a beginning. It is an extremely reliable means of family planning, but it also sets a firm foundation for building trust and security and love. NFP gives us a deep appreciation of life itself as we look at our cycles and see the potential each month for new life. It also gives us an appreciation of the gift of the sexual act in making us one, united in body and soul. Our reunion after a time of abstinence is something special. It is elevated from a biological act to a spiritual celebration of our commitment to each other.
It doesn’t matter what prayer or plea or promise gets any of us to our first NFP class. Just get there.
(Mary Gaida and her husband Mike are a CCL Teaching Couple in St. Paul, Minnesota. For information on Natural Family Planning, click here.)
